My entire life I grew up with a narcissitical mother, I am now 18 and she has yet to apologize for anything she has ever done to me. Do I think that she will ever apologize.... no... and I will someday learn to accpet that. Until then, I will have to deal. Growing up I thought that the way I was treated was normal, the name calling, the critiscm, the fact that nothing I ever did was quote on quote "enough" for her. I always felt like I wasn't good enough, a bad daughter, a bad friend, a bad person. It got to the point where I started to self harm and contimplate my own life. I was put into the mental hospital 7 times because my mom thought there was something wrong with me, turns out it wasn't me. It was her, and it still is. I was tought to keep everything in my life private because "we don't want others to know about us" or "no one needs to know our family drama, its none of their business ". It got to the point where I started to bottle all of my emotions, I wouldn't even tell my own friends, family, or therapist about how I was feeling. I felt as if I was a burden to them, like... if I told them what was wrong that I was bothering them. I felt worthless, useless, I felt like there was no reason for me to be around. 

As a child I thought that how she treated me was normal so, I let it happen. But, as I got older and as I learned that how she was treating me was not okay I started to fight it. Our relationship started to crumble and she always blamed me, I was "always fighting her" and "I was never nice" and "All you do is shit on me" even "you are so entitled, you are a narcissit". And... I believed it... Until one day, I don't remeber the day or the time or the year but what I do remeber is that. I am my own person and she has no right to treat me how she does. And now, I don't let it happen, I try not to let it affect me, I don't believe the bullshit she spews at me. Why? Because I don't deserve to be treated that way, I never deserved to be treated that way, no one deserves to be treated that way. And now at the age of 18, I barely have a relationship with my mom. And knowing that that is not my fault, I am okay with that.