That all sounds like a narc parent, i think my
Mother is PD not just traits like my ex and XMIL.

My mother does not change and she is 84, my
Father and step father are both dead now. She
Now has a BF.

She plays a lot of mind games, always tries to
Guilt you. Now she enables and tries to control
My two younger sisters that have old addiction
Issues, those issues mostly come from how
shaming she was to both of them.

I go to alanon and have pretty strong boundaries
With my mother. Thankfully she lives out of state,
I call her every sunday and talk 15-30 minutes.

My Biggest fear is i will end up having to care for her.
She has no real plan in place. I am one of 8 but no
One likes to really deal with her, she dangles her Will
around, she is a great subject with my therapist, HUGS

Hi, im a thirty year old female and i feel the exact same way about my mother. It took me awhile to figure out i wasnt the problem but she was not feeling any love or empathy she just always disreguarded me as if i didnt matter...she has played me and my sister against each other so much to the point that our relationship is way up in the air, she is very toxic to me. She has even preyed on me at my most vulnerable times in life and at my most hardest lessons in life. I no longer want anything to do with her she has done more damage to me verses help me.....with that being said ive turned to look for support groups and people that can relate to help me thru this bc really no one else understands....but i am to the point where my mental being, just my well being matters so im moving forward without her

With that im still a very loving person but we have to start our healing and recovery somewhere right?...and that means by any means necessary bc im raising little ones

Hello,

I'm 30 too and I have a narcisstic mother. I had severe anxiety and depression about 3 years ago and couldn't work or get out of bed. I'd put so much pressure on myself to live up to being the girl who "everything she touches turns to gold" that my mind just shut down.

I went into therapy and had an eye opening experience through CAT therapy. But when I began to start separating off from my mother, the criticism and emotional guilt tripping really kicked in.

After a year of trying with her I eventually cut contact and have been estranged now for two years. This also means I don't get to see my dad (my mum controls everything, she comes first etc etc....)

While my dad is complicit in this horrible family dynamic, he is not like her. And I miss him terribly. I'm caught between needing more time away to recover properly and worrying that my dad is 70 and I am losing time with him.

I'm in the grief stage of the recovery process.... and really going through proper acceptance of my parents limitations. It's just so hard as I just feel so lonely. I'm unable to connect in new friendships yet as I'm just still a bit lost so it can just be so lonely. My husband is going through similar with his parents (ND).... so I am just grateful every day at having him and his support. I don't know how people do this without anyone as parents we just the ones you are supposed to turn to when things get tough.

Hi, I too am a victim of a narcissistic mother and sisters who advocate narcissism. I need help.

I feel exactly the same as all of you. I am also in the grief and feel incapable of connecting with friends. I feel so ashamed that I do not have a good relationship with my parents. They have been sick this year and I could not get myself to visit. I could not stand the thought of being subject to my mother alone. I feel so unsafe around her. I am happily married with beautiful children. Every day I feel isolated and alone. I feel like I have no friends because I can not tell people the most significant thing in my life -- that at the heart of it -- I have been unloved by my mother and it is a harm that I am having such difficulty getting over. so -- I am going to pray for you all and myself. God help us to feel connected and loved, and full of love - help us to release our collective grief and sadness and let it go. Help us to find joy.

I hate that you are going through that, and fear that at some point in my life, with my parents in the latter part of theirs, I will end up in that same situation.

I think you have to ask yourself what is more important - contact with your father in his remaining days or not contacting him because of your mother. I think after he is gone, you can decide for yourself about your relationship with her. She is so narcissistic that she can't even understand she is manipulating a situation between an elderly and disabled man and his daughter. After he is gone, I think you will have the ability to address her on that issue once and for all, and decide whether she needs to stay in your life.