Hi, I'm wondering if anyone else here has dealt with this situation. My mum is someone I'd rather not have in my life but my dad puts up with her behaviour, even defends it when she's around. Privately he knows she's not OK, but he loves her and he's 78 with Parkinsons' disease so probably won't have him around much longer. Love him to bits, he's very sweet.
My mother is a toxic person and I do not wish to have any contact with her, however I feel I have to for a couple of reasons:
- Dad is nearing the end of his years
- it makes him sad when I do not contact her
- she controls contact with him (for instance, he is partially deaf and when he is talking to me on the phone she will turn the television up or yell at him)
- If I do not contact her she takes it out on him and makes his life sheer misery.
He will never leave her. Anyone else had to deal with this? Any advice would be appreciated.
I am at a better place with my ex and his wife than I have ever been. I can actually have a conversation with him on the phone and keep my cool. When either one of them does something annoying I just do an eyeroll, chalk it up to them being them, and move on with my life. What I'm struggling with is the double identity crisis. Years ago I went to going away party for my mother when she...
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...