Adult children of narcissistic parents Community Group
A space to explore our thoughts, feelings and experiences that have occurred as result of our childhoods with narcissistic parents (one or both). It is hoped that we can use this space as a further tool by which to take control of our lives from those we have inadvertantly relinquished it to, heal the hurt and be happy.
I came here to share my story and to give others who are experiencing similar issues hope .. my advice to you all is to BE YOU... BE TRUE... & KEEP YOUR EYE ON YOUR DREAMS....
I am 33 yrs old. I have two kids and have became motherless by choice. I came to the realization a few years back that my mom was not at all normal or mentally healthy. She openly admitted that she had a rough upbringing with her mother and did not know who her father was. She explained how cruel her mother was to her and how she would bully her along with her other siblings. It was then I connected the dots to the puzzle I had been trying to solve as to why !? Why was my mama so mean to me? I harbored no Ill feelings and felt sympathy for her instead and decided to go to her hoping to resolve all of our issues. She lashed out at me and said that I was always seeking out drama .., I was so confused.. like why would she interpret me trying to heal and battle my deep rooted depression with being full of drama ? I was hurt... I went no contact for about 3 months ... I was carrying my second child st this time. Feeling guilty I reached out to her and decided to just sweep everything under her “rug of dysfunction” as I like to call it. Fast forward 2 yrs later she seemed to be even more resentful than before ... now since I have been working on myself consistently on a daily basis in solitude it was much easier to pinpoint toxic energy for exactly what it was. I made the painful but also freeing decision to go no contact for good this time with this woman who gave birth to me but who never really loved me, never honored or acknowledged my uniqueness or creativity. The woman who I will always identify as my very first bully... it’s been 7 months I have been untraceable & more importantly unreachable. I love her for giving me life , clothing me , feeding me & satisfying all of my unimportant material wants... but I will forever have the feeling of betrayal when I realized she never validated my feelings, sympathized with my mistakes or sought out help for me when I attempted suicide. I know this was the right choice even though it was a difficult one. My kids need me .. My kids need their mom whole. It is my obligation to them to end the vicious cycle of sickness. I am free... I hope others are inspired by my story to never give up hope and remember to ALWAYS put yourself first no matter what !
My sis, step sis, father and 1st step mother, were/are all narcissistic personalities. The whole family knows it....... except them! All Summer born babies too.
Anyway, my step sis, even in infancy did not want to be coddled. My step mom said that she wanted to crawl over and do what SHE wanted at a young age.
As she got older, she was the sarcastic unruley one. Why? Well of course she wanted things her way. By age 16, our folks could not discipline her. If she was on restriction, she would hitchhike 100 miles to her friends house. (Friends, meaning a bunch of out of work young people doing drugs.) The fights of our parents over her and the screaming matches between her and my stepmother, were a constant.
My stepmother let her move out with her boyfriend, at 16. The calm and peace was FANTASTIC after that.
If your mother is a narc. She may perceive her own mother as being rude and mean. Because she didn't get her way. And arguing may have been all the time.
I'm so glad you have broken free. I hope to follow in your footsteps soon. Thank you, for sharing your story.