I have been shocked by how many of my relationships have been with Narcs or people with these tendancies. I feel like I have a rubber stamp on my forehead that says "abuse me". No-one can compare to my mother, but I realized how many people in my life have tried to control me in narc-like fashion, probably because I was groomed to put everyone else before myself. Who is the friend to "be there" at all times. Who is the wife who does everything, and still does not do enough. I have looked back on many of my most intimate and important relatinships were based on my personality as the scapegoat, always willing to do more, more, more just to please. I have been an overa cheiver all my life, hypersensitive, and self critical. I allowed SO much abuse and manipulation. I have pretty much ended or diatnced myself from most of these people, but what I have found is that as i am no longer willing tolerate any more manipulative behavior, my circle of forends has dwindled. My marriage (to a Narc) has ended, although I maintain an amicable relationship now for the good of my three children. I have placed limits on what I will tolerate, and I can, and will walk away from those who start the manipulation, twisting facts and lying to get their way. It took a long time to get a "backbone" to do this, as i feared losing all the relationships that I have built over the years because they did not like the new me who was capable of standing up for myself! It is empowering, and I know i must go through the chnages neccesary to get past my dysfunctional and painful upbringing. It can be very sad and depressing though. Luckily my children witnessed enough abuse in my home between my mother, sister and husband that they are very proud of me for having escaped. I nearly had a nervous breakdown before I did. It has been a very rough road. Therapy has been VERY helpful, and so has reading all the books and articles, and sharing here.

I am working on being able to recognize the "right " qualities in friends and romantic partners so I never make the same mistake again. It can be a lonely place. I will prevail, as I have no desire to return to my old "cinderella" self. Fairy Tails are just that! Does anyone else feel this way?