I have been estranged from my parents for over a decade. I was raised in a very strict family. My father was physically abusive and my mother was a severe narcissist, especially to me, never to my brother. There were just two children in my family. I was the overachiever who was pushed by my parents so much that I graduated 7th in my high school class and graduated with a degree in finance from a prestigious University. First in my family to graduate college. I had a very fast and successful career in my twenties but fell extremely ill at 28. My mother dismissed all my diagnoses, said nothing was wrong with me. Then after being told I'd never have children was blessed with a beautiful son. Once they learned of my illigetimate child, my mother stopped speaking to me. My Dad only visited and met my son twice and told my ex it was only bc he needed something from me. After that I never heard from anyone, included my now ex-con felon brother. My parents and my brother have continued on with their life, all together, and pretend as though me and their only grandson doesn't exist. This has gone on since before my son was born. I was in the hospital all alone when I gave birth. I cried bc I wanted my Mom. Even though I knew it would be disastrous I feel like she missed out on such a special moment. I turned 40 in December so I sent my mother a letter. I apologized, against my better judgement, but basically said in the letter to let bygones be bygones and let whatever disappointment she has for me to just go. My son is now almost 10 and I told her he has questions. He doesn't understand why his own grandparents haven't ever wanted to meet him. I told her in this heartfelt letter that I thought would bring her around. I told her that my MS has progressed and I just want the time I have left to be with my family. I mailed the letter and practically begged for her to respond and just meet us for lunch. I sent the letter nervously but I was hopeful. It's been over a year since I sent that letter and I still have not received a response. I'm so hurt I want to change our names. I'm sick with MS and all I want is a family and for my son to know that he's loved. They've not sent one Christmas or Birthday card for him or me since his birth. I understand that I had my son out of wedlock but is that really the worst thing to do in this day and age? Why won't she speak to me? As a mother myself I can't even fathom not speaking to my son, at any age. It almost feels like she doesn't think she has to parent anymore. That's what they always told me growing up, once I'm 18, I'm on my own. I just didn't think that would mean complete rejection after I got pregnant. Especially considering everything I had stacked against me with my illnesses a baby was risky. But I did it all alone. Homeless. Walked the streets. Slept at shelters. Cried every day. And even now that I'm back on my feet and I did it all on my own, a beautiful home and school for my son, things are good. I don't need anything from them financially. I just want to be loved by the people who were my parents earlier in life. Now I've just been shut out and my son thinks that they're not interested in knowing him which absolutely breaks my heart. I thought sending the letter to my mother would act as an olive branch especially since not talking for almost 10 years and then when I got no response I felt even worse. I don't know what I ever did that was so bad but all I've ever wanted was parents and a mom to love and support me and I haven't gotten one morsel of that in a decade and it hurts beyond words. People think there's something wrong with me. Like how can your own mother just abandon you? I can't meet any decent guys bc they end up thinking it's strange. And meanwhile I just want to live a happy life. My parents don't define the struggles and hardships I've overcome. I've survived and I'm proud of myself. It's just the loneliest feeling in the world to have no family. I'm glad support groups like this exist. I thought maybe it was just me but my mother has been like this with me since I was still living at home. Now that I'm 40 and a mother I believe you don't ever stop being a mom, even as your kids get older they still need you. Why my mother rejects me and just goes on with life like I'm dead really hurts me so much and makes me feel terribly alone. Thank God for my son. But it's not fair to him either. How does a mother just abandon their daughter? Even after a letter? How can you just stop loving your own child?

Thank y'all for letting me get this off my chest.