sorry about the typos... was a bit carried away and bursted into tears.

Setting any type of boundary when you have been raised without them is hard and takes a lot of effort to keep them in place but they are really important to protect yourself from more narcissistic abuse.

Thanks, Candimu. Your reply made me feel better.

Gonna review books about how to raise kids, just to find out what else got missed out in my character traits~~

Hoping I won't pass those deficiencies onto my own kids...

I have tried setting boundaries with my mom but she always manages to break them. Then she will complain to others I am not being a good daughter citing cultural differences. I don't care for culture anymore. I care how you treat me. the next best thing is to avoid contact unless it's deemed necessary, which is hard cause we are planning a wedding.

Chocotruffle, I know that "cultural differences/expectations" thing well. My mother was Italian/Spanish mixed in with Kiwi, and boy did she embody the "Italian mama" thing - legalistic, manipulative and running over with guilt to inflict on you. "A good daughter would.....da da da da" or "If you loved ME you would...." I felt like enough was never enough. I had to constantly keep "proving my love" for her and it wore me out and made me develop severe EDs and PTSD and depression. Go Mum!

All the very best with your wedding planning :)
I hope you can make your day a very special meaningful one and not let your mother spoil it for you.

Kim.

If it is the issue of setting boundaries with a narcissistic person.......or any person with any personality disorder then setting boundaries is not going to happen easily. Boundary setting is successful when both persons are not affected by personality disotders. The only boundary that can be set is simply "no communication" or very limited communication. If you want to be able to set boundaries you need to be with somebody or persons that have your(plural) common welfare at heart.