I’m 41 and my parents divorced about 13 years ago. My childhood was filled with love, vacations and rich family traditions. The loss of those traditions is what makes all of this so painful for me. I had never seen my argue, they held hands everywhere we went. Their love was life for me and my sister.

The Divorce

My dad moved a state away and remarried an old college sweetheart within a year. She has no children of her own...which I know should help with many emotional isssues we adult children of divorce face...but it also means she is not maternal and does not care to build and maintain relationships with me and my sister or her grandchildren. She married my dad before they were born. They are her grandchildren. My dad loves us...but he has left us emotionally. He visits once a year and when we visit them we have to stay in a hotel. It’s incredible to think I can never stay at my dads house. How did this become my life, my world, my reality. My sister moved across the country. She has a wonderful life and I’m always proud of her and happy for her...but it’s another loss of physical closeness for both of us. My mom lives within 3 hours and she has a close relationship with me, my husband and her two granddaughters. She has just told me that she is moving to another state. She has lived alone for a long time, has dreams of being in warmer weather and wants to find more fulfillment. I am so happy she’s able to follow her dreams. The problem: loss. I feel so much loss. Family traditions shattered, long distance relationships, the yearning for family and closeness. My girls who don’t get to grow up with grandma, grandpa and auntie coming to their games. Meeting for breakfast or dinner or lunch. Every time I think about the loss tears come to my eyes. I’m an emotional person and tears annoy my family so I try to keep it to myself. So much loss.