Adult Children of Divorce Community Group

This is for 18+ "children" of divorced parents.

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/ Adult Children of Divorce Support Group

Juggling the Visits

burritos714
burritos714

I am 29 years old and my parents went through an UGLY divorce about 4 years ago...I live on the East Coast and my parents are each living separately on the West Coast. My parents don't speak and my mom hates my dad, but wants she and I to have an honest open relationship (whatever that means...). I still maintain a relationship with both parents, but am I obligated to tell my mom when my dad comes to visit? Or vice versa? 

blankspace
blankspace
I wonder the same exact thing...
It feels as though I'm lying or hiding something when I don't tell them that I saw the other one. Why tho? It really isn't their business but it still feels like I'm doing something wrong. I have no answer to this one... :(
klpraz207
klpraz207
It's hard but I'd try to keep it as seperate as possible. At least until they are on amicable terms of seem to be 'over ' the divorce in general.
2000milesaway
2000milesaway
I don’t think you are obligated to tell them anything about the other. What kind of relationship your mom wants with you has to suit you both, not just her!