Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
I never cease to be amazed by the precision with which people often reproduce their parents' behavior , although they have no memory of their early childhoods. A father will beat his son and humiliate him with sarcastic remarks but not have any memory whatsoever of having been similarly humiliated by his own father.Only in a searching therapeutic context will he (ideally) recall what happened to him at the same age.).Merely forgetting early traumas and early neglect is no solution.The past always catches up with us, in our relationships with other people and especially with our children.
What can we do about this?We can try to become aware of what we ourselves suffered , of the beliefs we adopted in childhood as gospel truth and then confront these beliefs with what we know today.This will help us to see and feel things to which we have closed our minds, for in the absence of of a witness who can empathize with us genuinely listen to us, we have no other way to protect ourselves from the searing force of the pain.With the help of a enlightened witness, our early emotions will stand revealed, take on meaning for us, and hence be available for us to work on.
Preface
I wrote this book not for professionals but for readers who want to think about their lives and test new ideas- hence the absence of psychological jargon.
Alice Miller:
The Truth Will Set You Free
I was fortunate early on, in sobriety to have many folks with varying lengths of sobriety , to just babble( talk) on about thoughts , ideas and feelings. Lots of questions, we were just open to were the conversation might lead us.After intense step work and being given a good position ( a Career) where my needs could be met I entered Therapy for the third time , it stuck this time. My therapist stood , 6 foot 4inches and what a hugger and listener.she was. We delved into my life , all of it (not just childhood) sober times too, with no blame on anyone else, but what might be my truth. What a blessing in-spite of how I felt. And here I am , not as bruised and battered emotionally............
What can we do about this?We can try to become aware of what we ourselves suffered , of the beliefs we adopted in childhood as gospel truth and then confront these beliefs with what we know today.This will help us to see and feel things to which we have closed our minds, for in the absence of of a witness who can empathize with us genuinely listen to us, we have no other way to protect ourselves from the searing force of the pain.With the help of a enlightened witness, our early emotions will stand revealed, take on meaning for us, and hence be available for us to work on.
Preface
I wrote this book not for professionals but for readers who want to think about their lives and test new ideas- hence the absence of psychological jargon.
Alice Miller:
The Truth Will Set You Free
I was fortunate early on, in sobriety to have many folks with varying lengths of sobriety , to just babble( talk) on about thoughts , ideas and feelings. Lots of questions, we were just open to were the conversation might lead us.After intense step work and being given a good position ( a Career) where my needs could be met I entered Therapy for the third time , it stuck this time. My therapist stood , 6 foot 4inches and what a hugger and listener.she was. We delved into my life , all of it (not just childhood) sober times too, with no blame on anyone else, but what might be my truth. What a blessing in-spite of how I felt. And here I am , not as bruised and battered emotionally............
okiyoe1
Hey, when I was a little over 2 year clean and sober I was home for the holidays and had the realization through my first extended stay with my family C/S that I had become just what I never wanted to be my parents, Especially in a Male, Female interactions. I wanted to die !! But what a gift!!! A big piece of the puzzle
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