Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group

A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics

1 Online

HopeforUsToday 10/19/2013

I am reading about how harshly we judge ourselves and the guilt that we carry around. In the ACOA book, it talks about..."Who would feel guilty for telling the cashier that they gave them too much change back?" An Adult Child would. And I find that I am expecting too much from my boyfriend's 11 year old daughter. It's what was expected of me. I don't know anyother way. But I want to. And I am so easily upset. I hate to be questioned.I hate that my word isn't enough and I feel threatened that I have to explain it over, and over and over. It saps my energy. I need to get to a point of serenity no matter what anyone else says or does. I am not responsible for them. And I am worthwhile to take care of.

LisaACOA 10/19/2013

Hi Hope! Welcome to the group! I find when I see kids in the store and they are acting totally out of hand it bothers me. Like if they are being disrespectful to their parents. The other day I was in Walmart and some teenagers were really cussing a lot amongst themselves in general conversation. I remember thinking to myself that I would of never gotten away with that. I still panic with authority figures like police officers even though I am not doing anything wrong. Last week I was at red light an police officer behind me put his lights and siren on and wanted me to pull over. My tag was flagged because of an emissions test had not been done... that I didn't know about. It really scared me and I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. We will just have to work through this. xx

deleted_user 11/16/2013

Hope:

You are already changing because you are aware of your feelings and reactions to situations. I started really learning when I was in my later 30's - it took that long to see how I was so rigid, always trying to make everything perfect. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother started drinking later in life. I read Iyanla Vanzant's books when I had shoulder surgery a few years ago - wow, what an awakening. She was on Oprah. Now, she is on the OWN channel 61 in MD.

Hope you have a great Holiday.

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