Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
I can't believe I'm actually chatting in a group about being a child of an alcoholic. For years, I've been told that I should seek others like myself, but never could bring myself to do it. I guess in some weird way, it would be like admitting defeat, like, she finally got to me & broke me down. My mother (the alcoholic) has always been my role model for what NOT to be. She's is the butt of many, MANY jokes. This was my coping mechanism. I swear if it weren't for a sense of humor, I would have lost it long ago. It's really strange to read about others' experiences. They are so similiar. And even stranger, the end result of being an alcoholic's child is astonishing. I'm not naive about my situation or the things that have happened to me in my life. But until I started reading some of these posts, I never realized just how much it has molded me into who I am today. Unless you've had a parent who is an alcoholic, its hard to understand the amount of damage that can be done. I'm sure there isn't one of you out there that didn't at some point feel as though you got cheated out of having a real parent. Some of you got cheated out of both. Some, like me, only had one that was around anyway. I just want to say to all of you, I am proud of who you are (although i don't know you) Because what you have been through &/or are going through is a true test of sanity. And if you can function at even a slightly productive level, you are doing soooo much better than you have any right to be. :-)
of the damage done.... the life experiences "lost"...... overwhelming as that was........then I got to the
promises..... what? what? I'll be G R A TE FU L for this doo doo and NOT REGRET? the past????
Are you all nuts????
YUP! I'M A GRATEFUL CHILD OF ALCOHOLICS!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT REGRET THE PAST!!!!!!!! DO NOT WISH
TO SHUT THE DOOR ON IT !!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah that's what I'm talk'in 'bout!!!! Imagine an INFJ child of
alcoholics????? Yes, we're double winners!!!!!!!!!!!! I have an empathy, and instant understanding at
my deepest core of so many people, places and things....I'm able to love with an intensity that's probably
un healthy!!! Who cares!!! My hard won joy and place on this earth makes me an awesome mom,,,,
reveling in my livingroom filled with mattresses on a birthday party and wild dancing boys doing
summersaults..... I get to bake the cakes..... give the love..... work backwards from all the mental health
books as to what we got that we didn't need.... and what we needed that we didn't get and form my own
parenting style...... Since they were so nutszo I had to develop my own compass....find Higher Power....
and now ultimately find you fine folks and the strength of this program....BRAVE U BET!!! WHY?
BECAUSE I WAS SO SCARED SHITLESS ALL MY LIFE AND DID IT A N Y W A Y !!!
YUP.... I GET TO ADMIT I'M BRAVE TOO..... THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND BECOMING PART OF
SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF........ IF THERE EVER COULD BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since I am new also, as new as an hour ago, I can relate to much of what you are saying in your paragraph. I have been going to ACOA meetings for about 10 weeks now, and let me tell you, it was hard going the first 6 meetings. I hated it, loathed it. I wanted to turn around in the hallway to the meeting room. But I went, reluctantly but peaceably, and with a somewhat open mind.
My story is similar to yours., Which as I read on your “buddy list” seems to be the way of this site. I think that is a good thing, to be able to relate to one another and not feel so isolated and “freakish.” Which are just a few things that I felt before I started going to meetings. I would like to add that I am not much for group therapy. Mostly because it always seems in the movies to be portrayed as pathetic, or maybe that has been my perception of how it seems. There is the crux of the matter.
Perception.
My perception is always my own conception of the world I live in. My relationships, my job, schooling, and the world around me is effected by how I perceive my place in it. I waver from goodness and light, to angry feelings of being cheated out of my innocence as a child, to wanting my current relationship to be stable and loving.