I GREW UP WITH AN ALCOHOLIC FATHER AND A MOTHER WHO WASNT FAR BEHIND JUST TO GET BACK AT MY DAD.I HAD TO GROW UP FAST AND ALWAYS BE THE ADULT IN THE HOUSE.I REALLY CANT RECALL JUST BEING A HAPPY KID.OUR HOUSE WAS ALWAYS ON EDGE NEVER KNOWING WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I AM FIN ALLY RELIZEING THAT IS HOW I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY ADULT LIFE.I DONT KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION WITHOUT CAOUS..I STARTED DRINKING WHEN I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD NEVER CARING ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT SHUTTING OUT THE PAIN.AS I GOT OLDER AND STARTED HAVING KIDS I ONLY DRANK ONCE IN AWHILE AND NEVER AROUND MY KIDS.MY MARRIAGE HAS BEEN A DISASTER FOR YEARS WITH MY HUSBAND DRINKING.BUT I TOOK OVER LIKE HIS MOTHER AND TOOK CARE OF HIM AND EVERYTHING IN OUR LIVES.IN MY DEPPRESSION OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS I WAS DRINKING QUITE A BIT AGAIN.I HAD SEVERAL ACCIDENTS AND ACUALLY GOT A DWI THAT I DIDNT DESERVE THAT PARTICULAR NITE ,ONLY HAVING TWO DRINKS BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER STORY.ANYWAYS I HAVE NOT BEEN DRINKING FOR SOME TIME BUT MY HUSBAND CONTINUES.HE COMES HOME EVERY NITE AND IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO ME AND THE KIDS.....I CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE.I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL AGAIN.WITH MY DEPPRESSION I HAVE LOST WHAT FIGHT I USED TO HAVE INSIDE ME.HE WONT QUIT AND DOESNT REALIZE THIER IS A PROBLEM .HE WONT LEAVE AND THERES NO PLACE FOR ME TO GO WITH NO JOB,FOUR KIDS AND A HOUSE FULL OF PETS.FINALLY IN MY LIFE I DO NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ALCOHOL.I FEEL I HAVE GIVEN UP ENOUGH OF MY LIFE TO THIS .....WORST OF ALL MY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD SON IS DRINKING AND I SEE MY FATHER AND HUSBAND IN HIM AND I HATE IT.......FEELING SO ALONE AND LOST...THA BOTTLE OF PILLS IN FRONT OF ME LOOKS BETTER AND BETTER EVERYDAY.....