Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Hi I am 58 yrs old and my mother has been an alcholic all my life. When I was 14 I was sexually abused by my step father. Who she is still with. She made me leave the house didnt believe me and my life spun out of control. Now forward 40+ years... my oldest son and his family recently went to her state of residence to visit other family members. I told her they would not be to her house and reminded her of why. She totally denied it again and has not made contact with me or others since feb.2021. I knew when I told her they would not be there because of him it cut our relationship off. She has denied everything in life. I feel like that lost little girl again ...but I would not put my grandchildren in his reach even after 40+ years. i am struggling with my feelings. For years I buried them and carried on. But with grand daughters there wasnt a chance I would take.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
One of the many things I learned about life is that we can't change the minds of others. We can only change how we react to them.
I was not able to forgive my own parents until many years later when I went through treatment for my own problems with drug and alcohol addictions. While in counseling, I was able to finally say goodbye to my past and forgive my sick parents, with radical forgiveness, both of whom, drank themselves to death not able to deal with their own addiction demons.
Forgiving my past and letting go of it was like being made into a new person because I no longer identified with it. There is a great prayer that helped me with that and it's toward the end of chapter 19 in the acim text..."""Take this from me and look upon, judging it for me. Let me not see it as a sign of sin and death, nor use it for destruction. Teach me how NOT to make it an obstacle to Peace, But let YOU use it for me, to facilitate it's coming."""
I have a great life now and I have never been happier. I wish the same for you.
God Bless