Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
If the admin can post this permanently at the top of the page even if they edit this message out of it I think it would greatly help people with a place to get started.
Some important things to remember about the 12 steps is this is good to do whether you believe in God or not. It's a process and yes it's the same 12 steps as the alcoholics anonymous group and I heard it works.
In my town the nearest live alanon group is 30 minutes away so I use this online but from what I understand I should really be going to actual live meetings and have a sponsor because that sponsor has been through what I've been through and can help me along the process.
In these groups they have policies like no dating or friendships with the group members outside of group activities because it makes it complicated and stalls the process.
You agree it's private an anonymous. you are not allowed to discuss things outside of the group concerning the group or what was said in it.
There is a founder, but no leaders.
Your sponsor is usually same sex because it helps prevent predators. If someone asks you on a date, wants to drive you places and know where you live this is forbidden they are predator. And the rules are made very clear and in most groups you sign a piece of paper agreeing to the rules, so there's never a misunderstanding!
You cannot skip any steps and your sponsor is there to help you understand, because some of the steps like make amends are confusing. Like I asked why do I have to make amends with someone who did something to me. I did nothing to them. Your sponsor can answer that. But whatever you do do NOT go back near someone who abused you there are other ways that you make amends so you can move on without contacting those type of people!
The 12 steps below was borrowed from alanon.Org
I'm still on number one because you can't skip a step. It will fail if you skip a step. My reason is one I just started and I am learning how to forgive people who wrong to me.
This is a process in which you have to be completely honest with yourself and ready for each step. That means that some of this process may take a long time but that's okay as long as you're working towards it.
I read if you lapse and fall back into an old pattern you have to restart the 12 steps. It's a practice art and it may take a long time master.
I also learned it does not require the other people to forgive you in order for you to move forwards. This process is about you.
The Twelve Steps
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
A long time and i went to my live group too.
Going live is so important than sitting behind
A computer screen. Its not the same thing. We
need to learn how to get humble to become
Teachable.
Many of us believe in our HP and/or God for
the strength and courage to Do the work thats
Needed For us to become whole and healed.
I found by sitting, listening, learning and
Absorbing by far was the most helpful at
The beginning. And Reading all the literature
I could about the program and just keep
showing Up to my mtgs.
A sponsor is A guide. You are ultimately
responsible for Your own change and growth.
No one else Can do the work for you. They
Can be your guide While you do the work.
The steps and the program are a guide to
How to be and how to live. Its not set in
Stone its a way of life and living. When in
Question i rely on alanon program and
Training for my answers.
Alanon is different than AA in many ways. Its
A softer and gentler program. I have never
Seen gender issues there. You are suppose
To have same sex sponsors though in all
12 steps groups i believe. HUGS