Adult Children of a Borderline Parent Community Group
Not everyone has been blessed with a stable upbringing. Adult children of borderline parents come with their own set of troubles to deal with. Re-Learning boundries and finding clarity can be difficult. Join here and let us take this journey together.
Hello, I have recently discovered my mother has BPD. I have started therapy, but it just seems to be bunch of me talking and not actually getting anywhere. This is my first time in a support group.
I always thought I had a great and loving mother who only wanted the best for me until I recently went to college. I realized it was more about controlling my life than actually wanting to help me. She was practically living through me. Everytime I tried to tell her that she needed help, she became the victim and talked about how horrible of a daughter I was and all the lies I create. She gave me severe anxiety and depression and I have no self esteem. I also can't make my own decisions because she always made them for me. I want to cut all contact with her, but it hurts so bad when I try. I feel like a horrible daughter for having bad feelings towards my mother. Sometimes I even think it would be easier if she was just dead. I try to explain my feelings to my boyfriend or a friend and everyone seems to think she is the nicest person ever. She manipulates everyone. They all think I am just being dramatic. Should I cut her off? Should I keep pushing for her to get help? Do I just get on the support group to rant? I'm not sure how to start this healing process or how to help her. Any suggestions?
I learned that my father has BPD yesterday from my own therapist during my own session. I knew my father had big issues but now I can name it. Ever since I'm googling BPD which I never heard before and try to find some sources to help me further. Yet I feel relieved... now I know none of the problems I faced is my fault or related to myself.
I purchased the book of Kimberlee Roth, already started on my kindle, I learned online so much about BPD and I've been reading about these for all day until now even this is a working day in the office.
This is how I'm shocked! Now I know that I'm not alone and there are many people in the world raised by people with the same condition.
I'll start to work on the boundaries with my father immediately and will not let him abuse me emotionally anymore as he keeps doing it.
The second thing I'll inform my siblings. 3 of us affected in different ways. My brother is facing overinvolvement, my sister never got any attention from him, and I'm the bad/always guilty one in the family. All of the treatments are bad but he is also criticising me physically.
Now I'm 41, I never stopped seeing him but the last time I saw him, told him if he doesn't put an end, my family and I will stop seeing him. Now I know that this is a personality disorder and will never end, I'll try to solve in different ways.
I'm so glad that I found this group and will continue sharing!