June 16th I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderal. Only had the afternoon dose upped once. Have been on Sertraline (ZolofT) since a few months before that. Recently another pill has been added to 100 mil of Sertraline because the Dr. doesn't want me on a higher dose since at my last visit I told her it wasn't working.
Well since diagnosis, I have had a boat load of crud happen in my life, and I do not show emotions well, since I have PTSD due to child abuse. That has all changed. At work I was the loud, funny one. Since diagnosis I feel inferior, immature, and a couple of my "friends" only talk to me when they are teasing me. I stay quiet during meetings. When I send emails of questions I end them with, "Don't say this out loud." I am #1 in my company and my boss even tells me I put too much pressure on myself.
Hubby and I fight constantly. I cry A LOT. I am in a fould mood when I come home. It isn't helping I do not get help from them unless I ASK first, especially hubby, my FOURTH kid. I used to ride my bike 24 miles every morning at 5 AM before work. I have not ridden my bike in over a month. I have not had suicidal thoughts but I have thought about going far away and never coming back, about not waking up till all the shi* is over, also if everyone would be better off if I just enter myself into a psych ward and not coming out, etc.
These are abnormal feelings for me and I really need advice. What is going on with me? Severe depression? Severe anxiety? This is not fun!!! It's kind of scary for me!
Does anyone else feel like no one ever listens to them, like they just aren't interested . I know I talk fast, and sometimes people can't keep up. But seriously it seems like no matter how fast or slow I talk or what I'm talking about no one ever really listens. They listen enough to reply but not really hear what I'm saying. Idk maybe it's just me but it really gets old being there for everyone...