hello, it’s been a while since I posted. I’m 35, going on 15 years of marriage with three kids that are 13.5, 12 and 8. I so badly want to figure out how to make my ADD work to my advantage. Right now it feels like a curse. I was diagnosed at age 28 after years of being different, struggling through life, school was so hard for me. Then my second son was diagnosed with adhd and ODD at the age of 5 and through that whole journey I discovered I have ADD. My sons doctor said that it is often hereditary. So I went to my doctor and sure enough she dignosed me with ADHD. I was never really hyperactive. But in place I talk ALOT and very FAST. My husband is one of those people that don’t really believe adhd is a thing. He thinks our son just needs more discipline. I asked well what about me. I’m a grown adult and I have the same struggles he does. He just mumbles and doesn’t give an answer. So I am going to be starting to see a therapist to better myself so I can be a better wife, mother, friend etc. My poor family has to deal with my interrupting when they talk which I feel I’ve worked hard and gotten way better with it, my impulsiveness, I get angry easy. And the fast extreme talking. The extreme excessive talking  has gotten worse. To the point where I noticed not just one or two people in my life but everyone doesn’t even really listen to me anymore and will allow a distraction to ask me to hold on a second and then they start talking cutting me off from what I was saying and I don’t get to finish. No one really listens to me anymore. Which I guess maybe I overwhelm them. I’m trying to see it from both sides but it’s hurtful when I can’t have a full conversation. So due to this I’ve become closed off and just don’t try anymore. I’m hoping therapy can help me work through a lot of things and hey they get paid big bucks to sit there and listen to me ramble on so at least I’ll get to finish a conversation for once right lol. Today my add brain is bad. I texted my best friend and I think I sent like 4 texts within 5 min and they were all about different things. I realized that and apologized to her and said it’s good she can handle my crazy. She laughed and said she noticed I was all over the place but she’s use to it. I’m just so tired of it. It’s literally exhausting living with it, and raising a kid with it. Dealing with others opinions and judgement. The struggle is real. I don’t want to be on medicine. I’m working hard on improving my health and I don’t want to rely on a medicine just to get through life on a daily basis. If you’ve read this far thank you for listening. I hope this finds you in a better place than I currently am. Have a wonderful day!