It truly makes me CRAZY that other people think it's a "joke",. It is saving my marriage...my advice is to not listen to your husband...take care of yourself first...and then take care of whoever needs you most. That's my advice. I'm new to this so take it as I've lived it.

My X also said that this ADD thing was just a crutch and that both me and my oldest son needed to just pull our heads out of our asses.... and when the school pulled us in for behavioral problems with our youngest son (oldest was not his blood) my husband said he did not have it and refused to get evaluated by a Dr and my X was in was in total denial. After we separated and were in divorce mode I took my son in to get evaluated and on medication it sure had helped him.when he would go over to his dad's his dad would say when he is with me he dose not have a problem and dose not need medication (weekends and after school) but once I was out of town and he had to deal with him getting ready for school and was called in from the teacher as to why his behavior was back like it was before so the X called and admitted that we'll maybe he dose need it because he then gave him his medication the next day and saw what it did! The only part I do not like about taking the Ritalin and or adderall medication is during the time it wears off at the end of the day the ADD symptoms get considerably worse. I too was diagnosed after the divorce even though I knew I had it for quite some time (like you after reading an evaluation questionnaire to have my son diagnosed that it described me too in a nut shell) I recently changed over to a new medication called Vyvance oh boy this has been the best one yet! It lasts 8 hours and very slowly tapers off that I don't get irritable and lose my focus like the other meds I had tried. But what I have also discovered was that eliminating wheat from my diet has help tremendously in the up and down days no one can explain . Another product I found very helpful is a drink mix called "Spark" that is sold through Advocare. (Not sure if you have heard of this dietary supliments/vitamin company) this drink is very helpful for mood enhancement and performance but on the expensive side. You have to know a distributor (a person who sells it to purchase products (I am one but you can buy from someone you know not trying to push product as I don't mess with selling much now a days unless someone asks me)
Your frustration with your husband really was the issue you were looking for answers to and I did not have a solution other than to try and educate him. Have you heard of Dr. Amen? He has several books out there and on CD that one can listen to while driving or what ever. They help explain this ADD, the different kinds there are describing them in detail and what to do about it. Maybe if you can get him to listen to the CD' s or read the book I am not remembering the name off the top of my head but can get back to you on it. The book called wheat belly and another called grain brain are highly informative as to why and how this wheat is the big culprit for many mental issues we Americans have along with all the chemicals and additives in foods today. My oldest son is now 27 and a US Marine married and still has ADD but has had to learn to manage it. He dose not take medication as the military said he had to be off it a solid year before he could be excepted in ... this was one tough time let me tell you! Youngest son who is almost 20 now decided one day while in high school he did not want to take the medication and kept hiding it in the couch every morning till him and I made a agreement that if he could keep his grades up he did not have to take it and he has done so. Well this was a long reply. I have not found this particular group to be very helpful as you can see how long it has Been since my first post just a couple posts down... I hope the info I gave you helps

I too struggled with a now ex-husband who felt that the doctors were wrong about our son being on medication for ADHD. It was a constant battle with him and his family in regards to what the doctors thought was best and what they thought was best. The struggle for me also was hard when dealing with the behavior issues because when he was on medication he did so much better in regards to his behavior. One issue that makes it even harder is that usually at home it is easier to deal with however once they get into school it becomes a bigger problem because they expect the parents to do as the doctor requires. However when you have one parent who is on board and one who is not it makes the situation more stressful. Don't know if you and your husband have been to family counseling to talk to doctors or if your husband has been with you to the doctor with you child so that maybe hearing things from the doctor directly might help. Sometimes working through these differences with a mediator might help you both come to an understanding and feel less stressed out.