Adoptive Parents of Estranged Children Community Group
Did your adopted teen/adult child reject you and sever all family ties? Come and share heartaches and comfort with others in the same situation as we try to piece our families back together. We particularly welcome adoptees who were estranged from their adoptive families and want to share how they found their way back home.
I am so happy to find this group. I belong to some other online groups but with the adoption issue, I feel different.
My daughter came from Korea at 3 1/2 months. She was my heart. She is now almost 27.
I thought she had an attention issue as a young toddler. I noticed that even with Sunday school, parochial school, and very caring parents, she showed no empathy for others. When I would talk to her about how others feel, she would get annoyed. She would never forgive anyone. She always focused on the negative. She started sexual acting out at 14.
I saw depressive symptoms and got her into therapy. I also got her on anti-
Depressants which helped her tremendously. She took them on her own religiously. She was given a very enriched life, but she was still negative, all about the boyfriend, and always hanging out with troubled kids. She did well in school.
We were always close, or so I thought. We spent so much time doing things together. She would always tell people how close we were. She would tell her boyfriends she wanted her mom to live with her when she got married.
She got into an expensive art University and dropped out in her first year with three weeks to go to end the year and went to live with an illegal alien.
I was going through divorcing her father.
I put her through Beauty School. She got a job as an assistant to the top colorist of a high end ritzy salon.
She ran off to live with a boy she knew when she was 16 who was on the west coast. They had been texting. She called me almost everyday. I had a good visit.
She left him for a 40 year old nightmare bad man who was abusive to her. She stopped her mess. It has been a nightmare ever since.
She turned on me. She left him after 2 years but now she has no contact with me for a year. My visits in the past were so abusive I had to leave and come back to NYC.
I feel destroyed by what has happened. I lost that girl who used to love me and who I spent so much time with.
Thank you for listening to my story. All feedback is welcome.
My daughter came from Korea at 3 1/2 months. She was my heart. She is now almost 27.
I thought she had an attention issue as a young toddler. I noticed that even with Sunday school, parochial school, and very caring parents, she showed no empathy for others. When I would talk to her about how others feel, she would get annoyed. She would never forgive anyone. She always focused on the negative. She started sexual acting out at 14.
I saw depressive symptoms and got her into therapy. I also got her on anti-
Depressants which helped her tremendously. She took them on her own religiously. She was given a very enriched life, but she was still negative, all about the boyfriend, and always hanging out with troubled kids. She did well in school.
We were always close, or so I thought. We spent so much time doing things together. She would always tell people how close we were. She would tell her boyfriends she wanted her mom to live with her when she got married.
She got into an expensive art University and dropped out in her first year with three weeks to go to end the year and went to live with an illegal alien.
I was going through divorcing her father.
I put her through Beauty School. She got a job as an assistant to the top colorist of a high end ritzy salon.
She ran off to live with a boy she knew when she was 16 who was on the west coast. They had been texting. She called me almost everyday. I had a good visit.
She left him for a 40 year old nightmare bad man who was abusive to her. She stopped her mess. It has been a nightmare ever since.
She turned on me. She left him after 2 years but now she has no contact with me for a year. My visits in the past were so abusive I had to leave and come back to NYC.
I feel destroyed by what has happened. I lost that girl who used to love me and who I spent so much time with.
Thank you for listening to my story. All feedback is welcome.
J, I understand the broken dreams and emptiness and ugliness of feeling despised by someone you hoped to have a lifelong relationship with. I adopted my ED as a teenager so I guess I should be able to move on easier than most estranged parents. However, I later was diagnosed with a personality disorder and I think this rejection has taken on a life of its own that I don't feel like I'll ever fully recover from. I'm in therapy now with a Christian therapist and it is helping but I have set backs all the time.
J, maybe some others will see your post here and chime in. I hope so and I hope you can draw some solace wherever you can find it. You were undoubtedly a good mom and did what you could under difficult circumstances. Your ED sounds like she is still young and of at least average intelligence. Maybe she will mature out of this mindset. Hugs to you.