Adopted adults Community Group

Adults who want to talk about adoption experiences. Also people who would like to make friends w/people with similar experiences.

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/ Adopted adults Support Group

Are there any siblings out there who are trying to

deleted_user
deleted_user
I just joined the group as Ive been struggling alot recently and want to meet people with similar experiences. My big brother was adopted before I was born and we recently got in contact with each other. We have so much in common and care about each other alot, but Im finding some of his behavior hard to understand. I love him so so much and really want to get to know him (made huge efforts), yet it seems he is pushing me away or.....not letting me in. It hurts like hell and Im scared I wont see him again. Should I give him space? Im 29 and he is 33. We have so much in common even though we never grew up together and he is realy nice to me. But I cant understand why he keeps me at arms lengh :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
once you find out you have been adopted there is usually an ingrown fear of rejection and being abandoned agagin.I think it is great that you can have a relationship with him. Just dont expect too much of him and it sounds like you are both on the right track. Maybe you are trying tooooooo hard .I lost my bio sister that way.It has taken almost three years for my birth mum and i to have a good relationship and i feel that she needs to come first. You haven't mentionned whether he talks to your mother or not.This could be a huge cause of stress for him.
Men often dont want to know their bio family so i feel you are very lucky your brother has made the effort.My adopt bro has no intention of ever talking to his family and resents that i do.
It is really a very dificult situation for all. Have patience and dont push too hard.
hope all goes well