Adhd parents Community Group
Lets share our axperiences with our kids what had woked what hasent and how our kids are similar and different with thier symptoms of adhd.Is medication a good choice? Or anyone trying any alternative as Drake institude to change the brain waver by neuro feedback?
Hi, I'm new to this, but could really use some help. I've been trying to get my son's school to test him since he was in kindergarden, when i started noticing he was having a hard time. He is now 9 and we finally got them to test him and had what they call an IEP meeting. They basically told me that he does not qualify for any special ed program, or any other type of assistance. They tried blaming it on the fact that he missed a lot of school the past years and so they couldn't "accurately assess him". If you were to meet my son for 20 minutes, you would know. They suggested I get him tutoring and that i think about making him a doctor appointment, take all of the paper work and evaluations they were giving me copies of, and see if the doctor would be able to diagnose him and write a letter to the school. They said this would help me to get him into a program quickly because they had something diagnosing my son. I was able to get him an appointment that same day, and his doctor diagnosed him with mixed ADHD. I thought great! now he's gonna get help, things are going to start getting better. Well, apparently the school has certain amounts of time they have to do everything, like they have 15 days from when i gave the letter to actually give me the paper work to sign saying i authorize them to test him, then they have 60 days to test him again, then another amount of days to have the meeting with us to let us know what is going on and how he did on the tests and another set of dates to actually start him on a program...and it seems like they are trying to use those days in order to take as long as possible to give my son this help. Why? I don't understand what they gain by keeping my son from getting help. He is struggling so much and I feel like they don't care about that at all! The principal tries to act as though she has no clue as to what is going on, as if the school psychologist does not communicate with her, and the school psychologist gives me the run around and tries to use the fact that she is not at the school full time as an excuse to not do things any faster than she has to. My son already got held back once and i don't want him to lose hope of being able to do things, he gets discouraged doing homework, he has started saying things like "i'm dumb", "I can't do this",he even gets so frustrated doing homework sometimes that he starts crying and its killing me to see him struggle so much and i can't fix it. He doesn't act out much, once in a while he will try giving an attitude, but for the most part he's a sweety, he's polite, helpful, lovable, considerate, just a great kid. I need him to get into this program so the school's specialist can help him. What can I do to get them to get this done as soon as possible? Would it be better to transfer him to another school? another district? Is there someone I could complain to? I called the district and the student services person told me that they would call around and see who could answer my questions and give me a call back. (I didn't get a call back fromher until friday around 2:30pm). I would appreciate any advice anybody can me.
I feel for you. I had parents cry when their child didn't make it into the program. Fortunately our school had tutoring teachers that helped with the students that didn't qualify. Unfortunately their are amounts of time between when a child can be retested. They also have other guidelines too. I suggested an advocate because they are there for you to explain the process and can attend the meetings with you. I'm sorry I don't know where to find them. I would Google it.
It has been almost ten years since I was a EC teacher and as I said my brain is fading, but I would look into the identification of Other Health Impaired-OHI. I'm not sure if they still call it that but I think some parents were able to get assistance for their children when they didn't qualify for other categories. When I taught the child had to have a 15point discrepancy between IQ and achievement. If a child has an IQ around 80 they didn't qualify for EMD which required a 70 and their achievement would have to be below 65. We teachers would get frustrated when we saw a student struggling, but couldn't do anything about it. We weren't allowed to share it with the parents, but we were upset with the process too. Your teachers may not be that understanding, but there are some out there that exist.
Tutoring is expensive. At my son's high school the teachers offered free tutoring to their students. (I have a feeling that was a policy they were made to do.) There are some teachers that tutor for free. If you live near a University they often have students that are studying to be a teacher that tutor for free. When I taught every school system was different and it varied from state to state. I really liked how they provided services for the students in some states, but they were still held to the guideline of getting into the program.
As a parent, I would look for ways my child could succeed outside of school too so their self-esteem didn't drop while you wait on the process. I once had a student who was doing poorly in every class. He really liked art. I arranged for an art teacher friend of mine to be introduced to the parent. My friend offered free art lessons. As his confidence grew with art, apparently he started achieving in his classes. His mom told me this when I ran into her years later. An alternative to art might be sports or karate. It isn't a cure for getting him help now, but it may help him realize well I may struggle with academics but I am very good at....whatever his interest might me.
In summary, look for an advocate. See if Other Health Impaired still exists and if your child may get services through it as an ADHD student. I don't want to give you too much hope there because it was difficult when I taught to get a child in, but Google or your favorite search engine can be your best friend. Use the computer to look up those things.