Hi Missy,

I won't hang out here because I do not have an active addiction, but I wanted to stop by and say "hi."

I am sure you will create a safe and supportive place that will help people who are struggling.

(((hugs)))

You can hang out anytime...:)

I doubt many will post because Daily Strength doesn't put created links on the main list :(.

But I hope soon that some people will become brave enough to post with me. We know its a very hard place to be addicted and not be able to stop (or think we can't) and have no where to go....so...hopefully this can be one place :).

Hey Missy! I know how tough it is to deal with the emotions you are hit with on a daily basis and the crap that you are trying to avoid thinking about. Someone one told me something that got me to stop drinking alot. Think of it as drinking Tylenol it has the potential of shutting down things. Also I know this is odd but gargeling hydrogen peroxide helps whiten your teeth... try swishing with it for a week and then try a sip of beer ... it's gross. I have gotten extremely emotional when drunk and almost ended things believe me you want to be fully cognitive and not come to rash decisions. One good thing to notice when drunk vs. sober is how many questions are you REALLY able to ask? And what kinds of questions because your mind is only limited to a set of questions when you are not clean. Sometimes certain medicines help with the opening of the mind and being able to ask all of the questions that you need. If drinking alcohol helps you loosen up though and you are able to function better you may have a chemical imbalance, which you may make the decisions of talking to your councillor about this if you decide an alternative is for you. I think drinking every once and a while is a good thing as long as you are responsible.... there are RARE exceptions my older brother is a work a holic and alcoholic he works 80-100 hours a week. He ended up ditching singing and all of his friends and family and moved away. His ex wife and one of his friends ruined his chances of being able to have a good social life with petty games with his ring of friends. But he trumped them by going to London so what can I say? Well I think he might die of alcohol poisoning in five years.

I hope my older brother has replaced alcohol with something else ... I am not sure what medication he would specifically need to counter act his chemical imbalance but I am certain that is his issue.

Hi anne....what helps me with my chemical imbalance is antidepressents....really this particular one I take...makes me have confidence, patience, tolerance and a clearer thought process.

Problem is I don't take it when I drink....so I take it for like 2 weeks...then I end up drinking and stop taking it abruptly which I am sure screws up my brain EVEN more.

I'm sorry you are worried about your brother....I want to stop but at this point there are too many things going on that I can't emotionally handle and that is the only way I have trained myself to stop THINKING.

Eh.. yeah not good I know one friend of mine used to get violent when they drank and took Zoloft at the same time does this happen to you?

No I don't get violent...I just know drinking is not good for my liver and I know that drugs are processed in the liver (everything is for that matter)....so I discontinue the antidepressant to put less stress on my liver....and then what is the point of taking it if I get drunk...because drinking is a depresent....so not only it could affect my liver but my brain chemistry as well.

I do that. Play games with my alcohol consumption every week. There are days when the thought of drinking literally repulses me and yet I have these obsessive thoughts, "Do you want one now?" "Is it okay to have one now?" "Maybe you'll want one in an hour..." I can't remember the last time I ever had [just] one. I miss AA sometimes. Sometimes I miss it a lot. I felt grounded in something, a purpose for something, and truly belonged with something. Nobody has ever seemed to have "gotten me" like many of the friends I had in AA. Just one catch - you have to give up drinking to be in AA. Er, you have to want to give up drinking to be in AA. I go back and forth with it a lot. Especially since I ended buying a house right behind my home group. LOL. The Big Guy trying to tell me something maybe?

I was 5 years sober...by the way.

I get it darkhaired.....I get it....I too felt grounded...
Life happens and changes things quickly....I can't believe I am where I am...Congratulations on your 5 years....look at it this way...you have added 5 years at least to your life.

The Big Guy (I like that)....sends me signs all the time..one of these times we will get it.....I'm doing good today...went thru a very stressful MRI for brain...and I thought I would drink after...but I somehow managed not too...so I know tomorrow will be a better day.

Hang in there..wait till the miracle happens...hope it does for all of us.

Thanks for starting this group! I have been a very heavy drinker for many many years.. Not sure what I want from life any more.

Everything just seems so hard now that I am getting older.

At age 66 what do I have to look forward to except getting older and lonlier.

I used to be so brave and adventurous. Now everything scares me.

I only feel a little bit happy when I am getting buzzed.

I kid myself a lot about moderation. Have tried that over and over.

When I think about never having another drink I get horribly depressed and grab the bottle.

I know I do NOT want to die an nasty alcoholic death but that is about all I know for sure right now.

Dark haired I think you mentioned getting tired of explaining to friends why you were not drinking those five years. I fear that too!

All the social situations I have been involved in my entire life have been drinking events.

Went to a few AA meetings one time but they just made me feel worse about myself.

Anyway thanks for listening.

I feel your pain Trojan...I am going thru a tough time now too.....and lonely..etc.

I may be forced to go to AA tomorrow because my sponsor (for 9 years) - even during my year of drinking...just had a defibrillator put in her heart YESTERDAY....she mentioned coming to a meeting in my town tomorrow.

She knows I don't go to meetings anymore...and she is not asking me to go....but I think it is the right thing to stay sober and go see her...GOD...if she had a defibrillator put in and is going to go to a meeting....can I give of myself tomorrow and go see her? I haven't seen her in about 3 years!

If I were to drink tomorrow? Talk about guilt....etc....Then again she might have a heart attack if she sees me....LOL (not funny).

Just don't beat yourself up...you sound like you want to stop....you just have to find a way and some activities....maybe bingo?

I think you have a lot of good reasons to go

Interesting enough my older brother has reactivated his facebook and he doesn't look as grey as he used to so maybe has cut his drinking.