acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
I'm a trying to shake loose from the holiday hunkering down I did. For me to get though the hols, I have to pull myself inot myself and reserve resources to get by. I go quiet for the most part.
This has been on my mind a lot lately though, about doing things when I tell myself I can NOTdo them. Or will not, or should not. As I mentioned when I read how Dave let all his nots go and took off for England. It got me thinking about all the times when an opportunity came to me, and inside my head I was thinking I can't. And, I ignored that voice and I did it anyway. One of the few times in my life when not being in touch with my feelings was a good thing!
I think some of the most interesting things I've done in my life have been when that that negative voice said NOT! I leaned to ignore the fear of the unknown or failure or inabililty.
At the beginning of this year, a week ago, I had set a goal to get back to working again. In my head that voice cried, I can't. I won't. But I did. Well, I did because I needed to. If art isn't selling, so be it. It doesn't change who I am.
M
This has been on my mind a lot lately though, about doing things when I tell myself I can NOTdo them. Or will not, or should not. As I mentioned when I read how Dave let all his nots go and took off for England. It got me thinking about all the times when an opportunity came to me, and inside my head I was thinking I can't. And, I ignored that voice and I did it anyway. One of the few times in my life when not being in touch with my feelings was a good thing!
I think some of the most interesting things I've done in my life have been when that that negative voice said NOT! I leaned to ignore the fear of the unknown or failure or inabililty.
At the beginning of this year, a week ago, I had set a goal to get back to working again. In my head that voice cried, I can't. I won't. But I did. Well, I did because I needed to. If art isn't selling, so be it. It doesn't change who I am.
M
I love that last sentence you wrote ' If art isnt..... change who I am' It speaks of courage and determination and such a positivity that I feel inspired just be reading it. My inner voice at times can be my best friend or my worst enemy and there are times i have trouble figuring out which is one is calling out.
Love and hugs
Mukti
I like how you phrased what has been running around my mind. I have made a life of NOTS and I am tired of it. Instead of NOTS... I am going to try WHY NOT?
For me, I now realize the NOTS were because my messages said I didn't deserve these things, so I sabbotaged my own joy to make sure the NOTS came true.
No more... I'm tired of those old messages... my inner child wants to explore and have some fun... so WHY NOT?
Yep... I Get and So Understand were You are Coming from... N When I Too Knock that Little Negative off my Shoulder & "Just Do It" Life becomes So Much More "Fun" & "Enjoyable" because I am doing something I never thought I would have the courage to do... This Program Really opened me up to this when I 1st went thru the Doors of Al-Anon...
I Never in a Million Years thought that Day that 2 years Later I would still be there, celebrating my 2nd yr anniversary... But If I had not Pushed thru the Door, I would have never Known that It is OK for me to NOT... But it is also OK for me to Say "Why Not" ... I am Human and Need to Give myself the Respect I deserve, and if that means entering the "Grey" Area for a while to see whats there, then I'm All for it...
I Now know that what ever it is I Decide... I Choose, and HP will be there Holding my Hand, and know when to draw me back...
What a Great Share... I Needed this Today, Its been a Trying Week, but This was indeed a Help... Thanks Hobbit...
Love, Hugs & Prayers to You All ....
1ness :P
i tell myself no in asking for help/support, in talking about myself and how i feel, making decisions... not all the time though. yesterday i said no to a family thing that i knew i would hate. my mom was clearly angry/disapponted etc in me. oh well. i am turning off the automatic pilot that i always do things to make others happy. i've been saying yes to family at my own expense for 18 years. the only thing its gotten ME is a huge resentment.
thanks for sharing hobbit, it feels good to tell myself (ourselves) yes. :)
My default setting is to think "I can't" . I struggle terribly with negative messages from myself to myself!!!!!! Even when others say positive things about me, it seems I don't always hear them. I struggle to process them - which maybe seems a bit rude since it may seem I am implying that person's opinion has little value. It's horrible.
I had so much criticism as a child - some of it as a 'carrot 'to make me do better and keep me loved (as I saw it). Seperating what i do from who I am has been incredibly liberating. I love the poem Desiderata - it reminds me who I am and that I do have value and worth. I particularly love the line "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here."
Lots of love to you (((M)))
Karen xx