acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
I don't know how A Person Can Cram so Many Blessings & Nightmares into the Same Week, But I Have Managed it! The Disease of Addiction ALWAYS seems to Hit in my Family! It is An Endless Cycle that just Keeps on Coming!
My Grandchildren are Heartbroken, and THEY had to lay witness to the Nightmare of their Parents Break up! BOTH... Addicts of Course! "One Alcohol & Pills, the Other Alcohol! (Which don't get me Wrong! In the Long run will most Likely Be a Blessing!) However, at 8-10 yrs old, They should not of seen thier parents Sluggin it Out, Cops involved, Protective Orders Served, Name Calling, Nasty Belittling!!!
My Granddaughter Weeping in my Lap telling me at 8 she Jumped on her Daddy's Back and was slappin him in the head telling him to stop Choking her Mommy! And She Loves her Daddy, but is Now Affraid Daddy is Mad at her & She will Never see him again...
My Grandson at 10 tells me "I don't know How "I" am going to put meat on the Freezer Now that Daddy's Gone!" (He hunted with his Daddy all the time!) And he Has to be the Man of the House, and He is just Devistated of What He is Going to do!
Just SO Much for them and at this time of Year! Both Parents are So Bitter they Can't see past their Own Emotions, Ignorance & Hatred to Even Be Sivil with each other even in the littlest of Moments and They Sure can't see the Pain in these kids Faces thats Very Easily see! I had them Over night the Night this All happened, Along with (8) More Kids, and they would have SOME, Happy Very Brief Moments, but it wasn't hard to see that they were struggling! My Grandson Tossed & Turned all night, I Slept on the Couch Next to him just Praying He Could get Some Peaceful Rest...
I Sat them Down seperately before they went home the next day & Resured them that Grandma is Only a Call & 10minutes away, and if they are ever feeling Sad, or Lonely or Just Wanted to Talk or Get out of the house to Please Call me! GOD I Hope they Do!
So For Now, 3 days before My Favorite Holiday & My Birthday... I Sit In Mouring for My Grandchildren, and All I Can do Is PRAY, that HP Uses this to Make them BETTER People, insted of the Ladder option! I Just Feel Helpless & Heartbroken! AGAIN... I AM POWERLESS OVER ADDICTION, Wether Mine Or Thiers it is Just as Real!
Please Say a Prayer For My Grandchildren, that we Find away to Make this Holiday Extra Special, and they See the Love we have in our Hearts for them! I Just Don't Know what to Say... And have Done Nothing but Cry since Saturday! I Hate Seeing thier Pain... A Pain that I too Know so Well, & Have Lived with my Own Parents at the Age of 9 when my Dad Was Choking the Life out of My Mom! It has Brought back So Many Painful Memory's I had Hoped to Bury in the Nightmare of my Childhood's Worst Moments! Yet Here I am! Round 2...
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/ & Happy New Years to all...
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE!
Love & Prayers....
Oneness...
My Grandchildren are Heartbroken, and THEY had to lay witness to the Nightmare of their Parents Break up! BOTH... Addicts of Course! "One Alcohol & Pills, the Other Alcohol! (Which don't get me Wrong! In the Long run will most Likely Be a Blessing!) However, at 8-10 yrs old, They should not of seen thier parents Sluggin it Out, Cops involved, Protective Orders Served, Name Calling, Nasty Belittling!!!
My Granddaughter Weeping in my Lap telling me at 8 she Jumped on her Daddy's Back and was slappin him in the head telling him to stop Choking her Mommy! And She Loves her Daddy, but is Now Affraid Daddy is Mad at her & She will Never see him again...
My Grandson at 10 tells me "I don't know How "I" am going to put meat on the Freezer Now that Daddy's Gone!" (He hunted with his Daddy all the time!) And he Has to be the Man of the House, and He is just Devistated of What He is Going to do!
Just SO Much for them and at this time of Year! Both Parents are So Bitter they Can't see past their Own Emotions, Ignorance & Hatred to Even Be Sivil with each other even in the littlest of Moments and They Sure can't see the Pain in these kids Faces thats Very Easily see! I had them Over night the Night this All happened, Along with (8) More Kids, and they would have SOME, Happy Very Brief Moments, but it wasn't hard to see that they were struggling! My Grandson Tossed & Turned all night, I Slept on the Couch Next to him just Praying He Could get Some Peaceful Rest...
I Sat them Down seperately before they went home the next day & Resured them that Grandma is Only a Call & 10minutes away, and if they are ever feeling Sad, or Lonely or Just Wanted to Talk or Get out of the house to Please Call me! GOD I Hope they Do!
So For Now, 3 days before My Favorite Holiday & My Birthday... I Sit In Mouring for My Grandchildren, and All I Can do Is PRAY, that HP Uses this to Make them BETTER People, insted of the Ladder option! I Just Feel Helpless & Heartbroken! AGAIN... I AM POWERLESS OVER ADDICTION, Wether Mine Or Thiers it is Just as Real!
Please Say a Prayer For My Grandchildren, that we Find away to Make this Holiday Extra Special, and they See the Love we have in our Hearts for them! I Just Don't Know what to Say... And have Done Nothing but Cry since Saturday! I Hate Seeing thier Pain... A Pain that I too Know so Well, & Have Lived with my Own Parents at the Age of 9 when my Dad Was Choking the Life out of My Mom! It has Brought back So Many Painful Memory's I had Hoped to Bury in the Nightmare of my Childhood's Worst Moments! Yet Here I am! Round 2...
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/ & Happy New Years to all...
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE!
Love & Prayers....
Oneness...
Not to ignore how traumatic this must be for you as well, ((Oneness)). Not only hurting for your grandchildren, but having your own traumatic memories triggered.
Only yesterday I was enjoying a house full of grandchildren who are loved and nurtured by their healthy parents, and it was a completely joyful day. As I reflect on my gratitude list, I will also be keeping you and your grandchildren in my prayers.
Very Grateful you Got to Sit in Auwww with your Grandkids, I too Had Many little Moments of that myself, I'm Grateful for each & everyone! There was Moments of Sadness, but I Believe they had a Very Special Christmas, Not the One they was Use too... But Better! I took them to My Mom's with me on the Eve of the Holiday, and they Spent Most of Christmas Day with Me & their Dad at My House, and then I took them home that Evenning!
Sadly there is No Alateen in our area, but both are becoming Readers, and I do have access to the (CAL) & I Feel with my own experience of my Past, it will help me Comfort them into know they will be Ok!
Thank you Whole Heartedly for the Prayers, I Believe Very Much in the Power of Prayer, and am Most Grateful! Hoping the Rest of your Holiday has Just as Many Moments of Love & Family!
Oneness :)
I often wonder if an ACOA can ever have a nice holiday season. There were a couple of Christmases that as a kid I wished never happened. And still as an adult, I can remember those nightmare days better then I can ever remember a happy holiday.
The yelling, screaming, fighting, blood flying, it is still more real then any love I ever felt during that time.
I just celebrated a wonderful holiday in England and am enjoying some quiet time. Yet, the story you shared, similar to my childhood, is still alive in my mind.
Besides that I hope you had a nice birthday and the rest of your holiday season is filled with love and peace....
Dave