acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
Hi folks!!! Remember me? Sorry I've been away for awhile and I'd like to explain and let you catch up with me. Before I start, I will say I've been thinking about all of you and hoping life has been treating you OK.
Where to start? The only place to do so would be last year. I've got to be truthful with you, which now is a lot easier then it was then. 2011 was a horrible year for me. Not mentally or spiritually but rather physically. I literally spent the whole year in pain. It started after a jog home from work at lunch time. I was feeling really good when I went on this run but would pay the price for it. You see, I jogged home in my work boots. Not my smartest move.
Anyway, the next day my heel was in extreme pain. I realized how I had made a mistake with that jog and figured I would pay the price for a couple of days. Well, a couple of days, turned into a month and the pain never did lessen. In fact, it spread to my calf and thigh. My whole left side started to hurt and then my back began to flare up. I got to the point that just keeping control of my muscles was impossible.
Everyday though, I went to work and amazingly did my job. Though folks knew I wasn't well and more then once others picked up my slack. By the fall, I couldn't stand for more then 20 minutes without being in pain. I needed to sit which made life a little more bearable. Laying down was torture.
Even when I was in Hot Springs speaking, I struggle to talk without breaking down crying in pain. But I kept moving forward with my thoughts thinking that when I went on vacation to England I could rest and get better. Shortly before going to England, I went to the doctor's and was told I had a herniated disc and got muscle relaxors... which helped me sleep but made my weak muscles even weaker.
I was there for less then 24 hours and I no longer could hide the pain. And my very special lady put me on a back swing (inversion table) and within four days I was feeling better. A very noticeable limp had disappeared. And I was walking without the use of pain pills and sleeping without those same pain pills.
When I got back to Nebraska the first thing I did was get a back swing and it has helped a bunch. But while my back and leg were improving, the control of my muscles still wasn't the best and I still felt weak. At the end of a work day, just making dinner was a challenge.
I hate to jinx it, but since July started I have been feeling GREAT. For the first time in 18 months, my legs feel strong, my back feels good and I feel healthy. Healthy enough to stop by and say “HI.”
So what else has been going on? Even with my pain in 2011 I was able to become a certified Life Coach and a NLP Master Practitioner and started this year hoping to become a certified hypnotist. Well, I was just felt so weak that studying and practicing it was more work then joy... that is until now... and hopefully before the fall I will get certified in that.
I did have a remarkable experience a couple of weeks ago at a college about 40 miles from where I live. They asked me to speak to a substance abuse psychology class about being an ACOA and a codependent. It was a master's class and after I got there I felt so out of place, but after I started talking I never felt more at home then I did in that classroom. I spoke for a half hour and then they asked questions for a half hour. A very wonderful experience.
Anyway, I hope to start spending some more time back here... like I said though, up until just recently I just haven't felt healthy enough to do much of anything. Thanks for your patience and understanding...
Love and Peace,
Dave
Where to start? The only place to do so would be last year. I've got to be truthful with you, which now is a lot easier then it was then. 2011 was a horrible year for me. Not mentally or spiritually but rather physically. I literally spent the whole year in pain. It started after a jog home from work at lunch time. I was feeling really good when I went on this run but would pay the price for it. You see, I jogged home in my work boots. Not my smartest move.
Anyway, the next day my heel was in extreme pain. I realized how I had made a mistake with that jog and figured I would pay the price for a couple of days. Well, a couple of days, turned into a month and the pain never did lessen. In fact, it spread to my calf and thigh. My whole left side started to hurt and then my back began to flare up. I got to the point that just keeping control of my muscles was impossible.
Everyday though, I went to work and amazingly did my job. Though folks knew I wasn't well and more then once others picked up my slack. By the fall, I couldn't stand for more then 20 minutes without being in pain. I needed to sit which made life a little more bearable. Laying down was torture.
Even when I was in Hot Springs speaking, I struggle to talk without breaking down crying in pain. But I kept moving forward with my thoughts thinking that when I went on vacation to England I could rest and get better. Shortly before going to England, I went to the doctor's and was told I had a herniated disc and got muscle relaxors... which helped me sleep but made my weak muscles even weaker.
I was there for less then 24 hours and I no longer could hide the pain. And my very special lady put me on a back swing (inversion table) and within four days I was feeling better. A very noticeable limp had disappeared. And I was walking without the use of pain pills and sleeping without those same pain pills.
When I got back to Nebraska the first thing I did was get a back swing and it has helped a bunch. But while my back and leg were improving, the control of my muscles still wasn't the best and I still felt weak. At the end of a work day, just making dinner was a challenge.
I hate to jinx it, but since July started I have been feeling GREAT. For the first time in 18 months, my legs feel strong, my back feels good and I feel healthy. Healthy enough to stop by and say “HI.”
So what else has been going on? Even with my pain in 2011 I was able to become a certified Life Coach and a NLP Master Practitioner and started this year hoping to become a certified hypnotist. Well, I was just felt so weak that studying and practicing it was more work then joy... that is until now... and hopefully before the fall I will get certified in that.
I did have a remarkable experience a couple of weeks ago at a college about 40 miles from where I live. They asked me to speak to a substance abuse psychology class about being an ACOA and a codependent. It was a master's class and after I got there I felt so out of place, but after I started talking I never felt more at home then I did in that classroom. I spoke for a half hour and then they asked questions for a half hour. A very wonderful experience.
Anyway, I hope to start spending some more time back here... like I said though, up until just recently I just haven't felt healthy enough to do much of anything. Thanks for your patience and understanding...
Love and Peace,
Dave
It is lovely to have you back.
I pray that you continue to feel well.
Congratulations On your wonderful achievements during that really difficult time.
I must admit I also have been through a rotten time lately - very difficult. Something I noticed that happened to me was that when i was really really struggling, I was tempted to fall into my old habit of sabotaging something good that was happening to me.
I nearly walked away from my Volunteer job. It is something I am doing very well at. However, with being so tired, all the old messages started seeping back into my brain and I felt bereft and was looking for all kinds of 'reasons' to leave it. My mind started to tell me I was useless and am not capable enough for this position. It still is a struggle. I just wanted to run and hibernate and be away from everyone and everything.
I think I am settling now but I have been feeling terribly vulnerable.
I am so happy you had a lovely time at your talk to the psychology class. I don't care what qualifications someone has or doesn't have.........I believe in the saying that "What comes form the heart, touches the heart"
You clearly touched theirs! Well done you! Your HP clearly knows what She is doing!!! *smiling*
Big hug and lovely to see you again!
K
I've missed seeing you here. The board is just not the same without you. Sorry you were unwell. Glad to see you back.
And (((Hobbit))), don't say "back" LOL
Boy has My Program & Heart Missed Your Wisdom... So Grateful things are Beginning to get better for you, and So Many ways... I am Always Inspirted by your Triumphs... You are an Amazing person, and your Recovery is that of one I have always admired...
So Grateful to have you Return, & I Will Send Prayers that it is Just as Healing for You to Be back as it is for Us to Have you ....
Congrats on the Speaking... i Still haven't given up on you someday Speaking in my Town, or at least close enough that I Can come hear ya... I am sure Inspiration was attached to many just with your presents...
Love, Hugs & Prayers ....
Oneness...
At the old board, I never felt comfortable to leave for some rest. It was about numbers and posts and replies, while also trying to keep tempers at an even keel... which was impossible.
At Sanctuary, I knew I could heal and get better with no worries. That I could be absent. There are some really strong people here. By "strong" I mean spiritually centered and realizing that even though I wasn't here... I was in the thoughts and prayers of others. It was a very comforting feeling...
Thanks to you all for being here for me...
Dave