acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
This year for me has been a blur... I've always wanted a simple life... yet I seem to be constantly running around. Sorry I haven't been around much... I have good intentions every night to sit back and catch up with everyone and then when I get home and rest and have a bite to eat... my mind just seems to shut down.
Amazingly though, I have got a bunch accomplished for the first quarter of 2012. The truly wonderful miracle of it all has been getting reunited with two daughters from my first marriage. Well, one is my daughter, the other a step-daughter. Though she doesn't carry my blood she is in every sense my daughter.
How did it all take place? Patience and a full commitment to my HP knowing when the time would be right.
As an alcoholic, I burned many bridges during my drinking days and when I found recovery I was filled with shame and could understand why these kids wanted nothing to do with me. Two still don't. Anyway, a wise counselor told me to do nothing as far as trying to mend fences. I did do my 9th Step with them but nothing else.
The counselor told me that eventually the fences would be mended... it may not be in this lifetime... it might be in my next life but they will be mended. And that was how I approached our reunion. I didn't press it... no birthday cards... nothing. Just silence. The one thing I could do when the time came was to be healthy (sober) and answer their questions honestly and then go from there.
I won't go into details but I will say my daughter came first... she reached out and we have had some good conversations and I'm slowly getting to know two grandchildren.
The true miracle though was my step-daughter. She has had a pretty rough life and has been in therapy herself for a few years. She told me that my ex went to counseling with her for awhile but since I was so far away, her counselor and her used my website to see if I had changed or grown. She liked what she saw and then went out and found my last book and read that and began to see me in a different light.
Anyway, through Facebook we made contact and talked and then used skype to talk face to face. It was fantastic. Like I said, she is going through a tough time, yet she recently shared with me that she is comfortable sharing these things with me.
18 years ago she would have rather seen me dead then talk to me and now she is comfortable... all because I let go and let God and when she reached out, I was healthy and sober.
For years, I have told others that good things come to those that wait and it feels really nice to know that it is the truth.
A lot more has been happening... but these two miracles top the list... again I'm sorry I haven't been around much and hopefully this weekend I will find some energy to sit down and read what my friends at Sanctuary have been up too.
Love and Peace,
Dave
Amazingly though, I have got a bunch accomplished for the first quarter of 2012. The truly wonderful miracle of it all has been getting reunited with two daughters from my first marriage. Well, one is my daughter, the other a step-daughter. Though she doesn't carry my blood she is in every sense my daughter.
How did it all take place? Patience and a full commitment to my HP knowing when the time would be right.
As an alcoholic, I burned many bridges during my drinking days and when I found recovery I was filled with shame and could understand why these kids wanted nothing to do with me. Two still don't. Anyway, a wise counselor told me to do nothing as far as trying to mend fences. I did do my 9th Step with them but nothing else.
The counselor told me that eventually the fences would be mended... it may not be in this lifetime... it might be in my next life but they will be mended. And that was how I approached our reunion. I didn't press it... no birthday cards... nothing. Just silence. The one thing I could do when the time came was to be healthy (sober) and answer their questions honestly and then go from there.
I won't go into details but I will say my daughter came first... she reached out and we have had some good conversations and I'm slowly getting to know two grandchildren.
The true miracle though was my step-daughter. She has had a pretty rough life and has been in therapy herself for a few years. She told me that my ex went to counseling with her for awhile but since I was so far away, her counselor and her used my website to see if I had changed or grown. She liked what she saw and then went out and found my last book and read that and began to see me in a different light.
Anyway, through Facebook we made contact and talked and then used skype to talk face to face. It was fantastic. Like I said, she is going through a tough time, yet she recently shared with me that she is comfortable sharing these things with me.
18 years ago she would have rather seen me dead then talk to me and now she is comfortable... all because I let go and let God and when she reached out, I was healthy and sober.
For years, I have told others that good things come to those that wait and it feels really nice to know that it is the truth.
A lot more has been happening... but these two miracles top the list... again I'm sorry I haven't been around much and hopefully this weekend I will find some energy to sit down and read what my friends at Sanctuary have been up too.
Love and Peace,
Dave
Anna
So Happy for You Dave, You always work such a Wonderful Program, I Admire that about you... I Wish at times I Had your Trust that "It Will Work Out"... I know sometimes when I get Scattered I Tend to jump on my pity pot and get stuck...
I Feel I have taking Huge steps in Changin these very things, but still have a ways to go...
I Know how much your daughter has ment to you over the years, and the strained relationship... I am So Grateful that HP Lead you's back to each other... And the Step Daughter too... What a Bonus :)
So Happy for you Friend... Glad you Popped in for an Update... Can't wait to hear more...
Love & Hugs :)
Oneness :0)
Yesterday I was talking in a church group about family relationships and it struck me just how difficult family relationships can be in all walks of life - not just those affected by alcoholism. A lady commented that she has handed her situation to God and that He will answer her prayers - maybe not with what she wants - but with what she needs. She also commented that it is often only when she looks back in hindsight that she can see just how perfect God's timing was/is.
(((Blessings for you!)))
The first one ended because I never totally gave over my life to my HP... I thought I trusted that Power but I wanted things and I wanted them NOW...
This time I've learned that my time don't mean anything... all I need is patience and things will happen when my HP knows it is right and so far it has been wonderful just to sit back and let God lead the way