acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
Last week at a meeting... a person went off topic and went off on a humbling journey about how lonely he is. He talked about being married in 1990 and divorced by 1993. And for the last year, he has just been so so lonely. He gets home at nights, turns on the TV and stares at it from his recliner. He was almost in tears.
I live a very alone life... some old timers tell me I spend to much time alone. But I'm comfortable with it... I work 40 hours a week and have good friends where I work and I come home in the evenings I love the silence and yes, at times, the voice of the TV.
Things I have done alone have been productive as well as dumb (in a funny way)... but I'm never lonely. When someone speaks of loneliness I look at it in two ways... first they don't enjoy their own company and second they don't have an HP in their lives.
It is now 17 months for me since I've become a bachelor and I can honestly say I haven't been lonely once. At times, I would love to be in the company of others but I also firmly believe that good things come to those that wait. So, I'll patiently wait.
During these 17 months on my own though, I have done things that I never thought I would do. First, was my trip to England... in my wildest dreams I never thought I'd be traveling across the pond. Then doing a two year course to become a Master Baker in nine months... and now... back in school again. This time for an NLP Practitioners license... NLP is similar to CBT... and so far I love it...
The miracle of my journey, is realizing that all things are possible if I willing to extend myself outside my comfort zone and try new things... and part of leaving my comfort zone has been getting to know all of you... thanks for being a part of my journey...
Dave
I live a very alone life... some old timers tell me I spend to much time alone. But I'm comfortable with it... I work 40 hours a week and have good friends where I work and I come home in the evenings I love the silence and yes, at times, the voice of the TV.
Things I have done alone have been productive as well as dumb (in a funny way)... but I'm never lonely. When someone speaks of loneliness I look at it in two ways... first they don't enjoy their own company and second they don't have an HP in their lives.
It is now 17 months for me since I've become a bachelor and I can honestly say I haven't been lonely once. At times, I would love to be in the company of others but I also firmly believe that good things come to those that wait. So, I'll patiently wait.
During these 17 months on my own though, I have done things that I never thought I would do. First, was my trip to England... in my wildest dreams I never thought I'd be traveling across the pond. Then doing a two year course to become a Master Baker in nine months... and now... back in school again. This time for an NLP Practitioners license... NLP is similar to CBT... and so far I love it...
The miracle of my journey, is realizing that all things are possible if I willing to extend myself outside my comfort zone and try new things... and part of leaving my comfort zone has been getting to know all of you... thanks for being a part of my journey...
Dave
This poor soul hasn't connected with himself like a lot of us have---I am glad U were at the meet b/c this was a message 2 U and the others that this program WORKS if ya WORK it and that the basis of the program is self discovery which = self love
i am getting there--i have my family next door, but this past week i had a lot of "ME" time listening to my spiritual cd's and doing my candle visuals and just taking care of me
there is a big difference between being alone (U , me and others) and being LONELY like I used 2 B---I am coming into myself by going into myself
HUGS
It is my experience that folks who spend too LITTLE time alone often do not have the time to conect with their HP and often all the humans in their life become their HP. Anyway it's none of those old timers business!
I guess it's a case of getting a balance but for me I feel I NEED time alone to feel mentally well.
Even as a child I enjoyed being alone - I read books and went on wonderful journeys and imaginings in my mind...those books gave me hope.
Love to both of you!
Karen xx
Some of the times I have felt most lonely were when I was in a crowd of people.
If anything, in my own life, I have gone the hermit route, cutting myself off from people almost completely for certain (sometimes extended) periods of time. That doesn't work either. Being alone with my own thoughts exclusively means I can go way, way off the path if my thinking is distorted and unhealthy.
There is a balance that each of us has to find between connectedness and aloneness, and I think the mix is different for each. We need connectedness, obviously, and especially to be connected to others in recovery in order to keep our thinking in the right place. We also need alone time in order to process, sort through, and figure out our next steps, and if you're an introvert like me, just to recharge.
Great topic...thanks for putting it into play.