acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
The last couple of weeks, I have been busy with condensing all my writings that appear on the Internet. What I mean by that is that must of the sites I use are free ones... except for two... one is my personal site and the other is a site for authors.
I got on the site with authors when I first got on the 'net just to get my name out there. Well after seven years... it is out there and I really don't use it much anymore and it is just time to cut out some unnecessary expenses.
So anyway as I have been doing this, I got an e-mail from a guy from my hometown, telling me that he server in Vietnam from 1965-67. At that time I was 8 to 10 years old. So I didn't know him personally... but he knew me because of a tribute page I have on my site to my hometown Vietnam Veterans. OK... that is the background... now the story.
The authors site I am planning to leave sometime this year was how a person from my hometown contacted me back in 2008. He e-mailed me and asked if I was a brother of M--- and he told me his name and where he lived. Again, I didn't know him personally, but where he lived was just a city block from my home.
I wrote him back and said yes M--- was my brother and over the next week we talked everyday. He was a career military man and he was working on a list of my hometown Vietnam Veterans. I was pretty young when Vietnam was going on... but I mentioned a few names and he already knew those. But then, I mentioned a name and he said that person wasn't in the services. And here I was an old hippie arguing with a career military man about someone who served. Long story short, he checked with his connections and I was correct.
With that in my resume, we became even closer and I came up with the idea that if he sent me the list I could put it on my website and we could get the word out about it and let the veterans find us instead of him searching everybody down. He really liked that idea and within a months time I had a wonderful tribute page to these men and women.
Over the years, just guessing 50 more names have been added to the list. After they contact me, I contact the other guy and both of our lists are updated. As we worked together on this project I wrote a poem in honor of these people and this guy read my poem at the brand new veterans park in my hometown. It really felt great to be included someway in that service.
As news of that event and my tribute page I got an e-mail from my oldest brother, M---. He thanked me for thinking of them... yet at the same time almost trying to shame me for doing it. I didn't serve in Nam so I should have contacted him and let him and this guy do it together.
He really tried to "put me in my place." To be that insecure little child... it was then that I began to see that even though he is successful to the outside world, he too seems to be battling the messages from our pasts.
At the end of his e-mail he wanted... er... demanded... that I give him this guy's e-mail. Yes, it was halfway across the country, but it was the first time, in my life that I wasn't the baby brother but a grown man. I told him that I would send his e-mail address to that guy and if he wanted to connect with him he would. That was the last time I heard from M---.... lol
Anyway, I hadn't thought of that in a long time and tonight getting that e-mail helped me remember it... just wanted to share a moment in time with ya...
Dave
I got on the site with authors when I first got on the 'net just to get my name out there. Well after seven years... it is out there and I really don't use it much anymore and it is just time to cut out some unnecessary expenses.
So anyway as I have been doing this, I got an e-mail from a guy from my hometown, telling me that he server in Vietnam from 1965-67. At that time I was 8 to 10 years old. So I didn't know him personally... but he knew me because of a tribute page I have on my site to my hometown Vietnam Veterans. OK... that is the background... now the story.
The authors site I am planning to leave sometime this year was how a person from my hometown contacted me back in 2008. He e-mailed me and asked if I was a brother of M--- and he told me his name and where he lived. Again, I didn't know him personally, but where he lived was just a city block from my home.
I wrote him back and said yes M--- was my brother and over the next week we talked everyday. He was a career military man and he was working on a list of my hometown Vietnam Veterans. I was pretty young when Vietnam was going on... but I mentioned a few names and he already knew those. But then, I mentioned a name and he said that person wasn't in the services. And here I was an old hippie arguing with a career military man about someone who served. Long story short, he checked with his connections and I was correct.
With that in my resume, we became even closer and I came up with the idea that if he sent me the list I could put it on my website and we could get the word out about it and let the veterans find us instead of him searching everybody down. He really liked that idea and within a months time I had a wonderful tribute page to these men and women.
Over the years, just guessing 50 more names have been added to the list. After they contact me, I contact the other guy and both of our lists are updated. As we worked together on this project I wrote a poem in honor of these people and this guy read my poem at the brand new veterans park in my hometown. It really felt great to be included someway in that service.
As news of that event and my tribute page I got an e-mail from my oldest brother, M---. He thanked me for thinking of them... yet at the same time almost trying to shame me for doing it. I didn't serve in Nam so I should have contacted him and let him and this guy do it together.
He really tried to "put me in my place." To be that insecure little child... it was then that I began to see that even though he is successful to the outside world, he too seems to be battling the messages from our pasts.
At the end of his e-mail he wanted... er... demanded... that I give him this guy's e-mail. Yes, it was halfway across the country, but it was the first time, in my life that I wasn't the baby brother but a grown man. I told him that I would send his e-mail address to that guy and if he wanted to connect with him he would. That was the last time I heard from M---.... lol
Anyway, I hadn't thought of that in a long time and tonight getting that e-mail helped me remember it... just wanted to share a moment in time with ya...
Dave
Seems to me as tho the "Other" Gentleman was Very Grateful for your Help & that is Really all that matters... My Big Sis too has a Very "Overbarring" attitude at times when it comes to me... She is only 4 yrs my senior, but at times I think she too plays the "Mother" role... Or at least "attepts too" Since this Program I have really learned how to funnel things with her when it comes to that... I'm Sorry that your Brother Could not be More Stand up for what you "Didn't have to do" but We sure can't pick our Bio-family's Now can we....
I too was too Young for Nam, but I have 5 Uncles that Served along with 2 Grandpa's and Prob 5-8 cuz so I am Very Supporting of the Vets and all they do & have done for OUr Country... You are a Very Honorable Man Mr. Dave, & I'm Very Glad that they Honored you In Such a Special way with your Writting .... YOU SO ROCK :-)
Thanks for your Share
Sending Loving Hugs & Prayers Your Way ....
1Ness...
I, too, was a kid during Vietnam, and I remember the awful way vets were treated upon returning home. Thank goodness people have wised up since then.
as addicts and co-addicts we tend to be reactive,, rather than pro-active---i love to see one of us come out w/our boundaries and our respect in tact
so u didn't serve in vietnam, i didn't serve in ww2 but that does not make me feel less compassion wen i see documentaries of the arizona and the 900 guys that are entombed in it or maybe there are more entombed, i know about 1800 got killed in all just o that one ship-- yea, lots of things i didn't participate in, but i can still feel 4 the ones who did
nice job!!!!
Thank you for your son's service to our country...
Dave
I found it very interesting what you had written about your brother's reaction and I really have to agree with Rosie when she said you can still feel for the ones who did. War is War and no matter wherever it occurs there will always be human casualty and pain and you would have to be a robot if a death even one's half way across the world did not make you feel bad enough to try to do something to stop it or to honour those who lost their lives in the line of duty. I think your brother is just miffed that he never thought about something like this and is trying to bully you into feeling ashamed so you will give him some of the glory. I think it is truly a great service that you are doing to all those veterans.
Mukti
It is great to see ya!!!! Hope all is well with you...
Dave