acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
I have had the most remarkable 36 hours that I don't think I can compare to any other time in my life. From it all, I just feel like I'm tip toeing on the clouds walking with my HP.
It all started yesterday at work. Some of my work involves using a computer to check out the latest notes on food safety and things like that. During that time, if I'm not to busy I will check out my e-mail. Well I opened my e-mail and there was one from an unknown address and in the subject line it said, "payment received"... I knew from the past that this was PayPal informing me of a sale. As I clicked to open it... my first thought was someone bought a book or my CD.
Well, it was for my CD... as I looked I rubbed my eyes and looked closer. Then I closed my e-mail and opened my PayPal account to see if what I was reading was correct... and it was... I had just sold 210 CD's. The CD is for cancer fund-raising and when I created it this is what I envisioned with it... but to date this was my largest sale.
I felt like a kid in the candy store getting excited and left work a little early to go to the post office to get some flat rate boxes to mail these 210 CD's. So I first head to my apartment to get my keys for my car... which is old and that is OK because anymore I walk just about everywhere except when I need groceries or in this case to get to the post office.
I jump in the car, still smiling and turn the key and it turned over but wouldn't start. After a couple of minutes I gave up and walked... rather quickly... to the post office. I got everything I need and as I left the post office, even though my car was dead I just felt great. I headed back to my apartment and didn't even try to start my car.
I make some coffee and play on the internet for an hour or so and was about ready to start making dinner when I thought I would try my car one more time. Again... I couldn't get it started. And I thought (blushing) if maybe I was out of gas? The last time I drove it about two weeks ago it was getting very low and I remembered thinking that the next time I drove it I would have to get some.
So I get a gas can from work and head to the gas station... on my walk back all I feel is gratitude because IF my car was dead at least it died at home and its last journey got me back home and I also knew that with the sale of the CD's IF needed I could either have the car fixed or buy another old beater just to get around when I needed too.
So, I pour the gallon of gas in the tank, hope in my car and VAROOM... starts right up. Now, I felt even better... so I make my dinner and pack my CD's and fall asleep knowing that I am being taken care of.
At lunch today, I go to the post office and mail five boxes of CD's. As I leave the post office a parked car, rolled down their window and asked, "Excuse me, are you Dave Harm?" I said yes and she introduced herself. A few years back I wrote a poetry column for our local newspaper and this lady was one of the contributors to that column. She recognized me. We talked for a little bit and I just felt the Hand of God around me.
I just felt like I am making a difference. Those CD's I mailed will be used to raise funds for the American Cancer Society and that lady I talked to said she never thought her poetry was worth anything until she seen it in the newspaper thanks to me.
After lunch I went back to work and checked my e-mail again and received an award for my blog as one of the 100 best recovery blogs on the Internet... I am just feeling like WOW where did all this come from?
Years ago, to me making a difference meant being famous or having a ton of money and a gazillion friends... to be worshiped. That was during my drinking days... days before I had an HP. Today, making a difference means just knowing that in some small way I may have helped someone on their journey...
It just has been a great week... even last weekend at an AA meeting I went too... I sat next to a guy that looked so familiar but I just couldn't figure out where I knew him from. And then when he spoke I knew who he was. It was through an AA program I ran a couple of years back at the county jail. This guy was an inmate and now finally he was getting sober.
I just wanted to share a heck of a good spiritual week for me... it has covered just about every "feel good emotion" that I thought a person could have.
As an ACOA it is easy for me to share when I am troubled or angry or depressed and almost feel selfish or self-centered when I share the good things that happen. I need to remember that when I share these good things that I do it with humility because it could never be done without my Higher Power....
And a big ((( Thank You ))) to all of you because you have all made a difference in my life...
Love and Peace,
Dave
It all started yesterday at work. Some of my work involves using a computer to check out the latest notes on food safety and things like that. During that time, if I'm not to busy I will check out my e-mail. Well I opened my e-mail and there was one from an unknown address and in the subject line it said, "payment received"... I knew from the past that this was PayPal informing me of a sale. As I clicked to open it... my first thought was someone bought a book or my CD.
Well, it was for my CD... as I looked I rubbed my eyes and looked closer. Then I closed my e-mail and opened my PayPal account to see if what I was reading was correct... and it was... I had just sold 210 CD's. The CD is for cancer fund-raising and when I created it this is what I envisioned with it... but to date this was my largest sale.
I felt like a kid in the candy store getting excited and left work a little early to go to the post office to get some flat rate boxes to mail these 210 CD's. So I first head to my apartment to get my keys for my car... which is old and that is OK because anymore I walk just about everywhere except when I need groceries or in this case to get to the post office.
I jump in the car, still smiling and turn the key and it turned over but wouldn't start. After a couple of minutes I gave up and walked... rather quickly... to the post office. I got everything I need and as I left the post office, even though my car was dead I just felt great. I headed back to my apartment and didn't even try to start my car.
I make some coffee and play on the internet for an hour or so and was about ready to start making dinner when I thought I would try my car one more time. Again... I couldn't get it started. And I thought (blushing) if maybe I was out of gas? The last time I drove it about two weeks ago it was getting very low and I remembered thinking that the next time I drove it I would have to get some.
So I get a gas can from work and head to the gas station... on my walk back all I feel is gratitude because IF my car was dead at least it died at home and its last journey got me back home and I also knew that with the sale of the CD's IF needed I could either have the car fixed or buy another old beater just to get around when I needed too.
So, I pour the gallon of gas in the tank, hope in my car and VAROOM... starts right up. Now, I felt even better... so I make my dinner and pack my CD's and fall asleep knowing that I am being taken care of.
At lunch today, I go to the post office and mail five boxes of CD's. As I leave the post office a parked car, rolled down their window and asked, "Excuse me, are you Dave Harm?" I said yes and she introduced herself. A few years back I wrote a poetry column for our local newspaper and this lady was one of the contributors to that column. She recognized me. We talked for a little bit and I just felt the Hand of God around me.
I just felt like I am making a difference. Those CD's I mailed will be used to raise funds for the American Cancer Society and that lady I talked to said she never thought her poetry was worth anything until she seen it in the newspaper thanks to me.
After lunch I went back to work and checked my e-mail again and received an award for my blog as one of the 100 best recovery blogs on the Internet... I am just feeling like WOW where did all this come from?
Years ago, to me making a difference meant being famous or having a ton of money and a gazillion friends... to be worshiped. That was during my drinking days... days before I had an HP. Today, making a difference means just knowing that in some small way I may have helped someone on their journey...
It just has been a great week... even last weekend at an AA meeting I went too... I sat next to a guy that looked so familiar but I just couldn't figure out where I knew him from. And then when he spoke I knew who he was. It was through an AA program I ran a couple of years back at the county jail. This guy was an inmate and now finally he was getting sober.
I just wanted to share a heck of a good spiritual week for me... it has covered just about every "feel good emotion" that I thought a person could have.
As an ACOA it is easy for me to share when I am troubled or angry or depressed and almost feel selfish or self-centered when I share the good things that happen. I need to remember that when I share these good things that I do it with humility because it could never be done without my Higher Power....
And a big ((( Thank You ))) to all of you because you have all made a difference in my life...
Love and Peace,
Dave
And congratulations! On you big sale and on your counting your blessings!
M
That is just wonderful...such wonderful blessings.
It never ceases to amaze me how my HP can cause me to shake my head in awe when such things happen to me.
When going through traumatic times I try and remember how quickly my HP acts when He wants to.
I always remind myself that my HP can see the big picture and even with the traumatic times I am enduring at the moment, I KNOW He is there. I have to go through all this....like they say ...if nothing changes - nothing changes.
I refuse to throw my life away by staying in the situation I am in. If I did that, all it would say to me is that I have no faith in myself or my HP and that I have to settle for this life out of fear. Not happening.
I am so pleased lovely things are happening for you!
*giggling to myself* I always giggle to myself as when wonderful things happen, there is a lovely old lady at our meetings who says "This too shall pass"......with a BIG wink she says it and it always makes me giggle....alot! I know (hope!) you will take that with the humour and way it is intended!!!!
I was overjoyed the other day as some cows had escaped from a farm and were trotting down the main road in my town... there were buses & cars going past and then my eyes nearly popped out of my head.....2 cows!!!!!! I really found it joyful....the police came and rounded them up.......I know that sounds silly but it was just a joy and made me smile! We were all giggling!
A lovely friend also sent me a link to a live web cam with some eagles who have had babies and I find it so relaxing looking at them...I get mesmerised......if anyone is interested ...this is it! at the moment rain is covering the lens...there are 3 babies! http://www.farmyou.com/falcon_cams/index.html
Oddly while I was watching her tending her young and sheltering them from bad weather...I thought to myself...what a great mother ...I wish Ihad had that love and care. But then my mother could only give what she was capable of....being melancholic about it just absorbs me in self pity and stops me being helpful to others........oops! Dave! Sorry ! have drifted like crazy on this post!!!!
My HP has brought me countless joyful happenings....my eyes were so closed with bitterness and resentment that i couldn't see them.
Wishing you many more beautiful happenings Dave!
(((hugs)))
karen xx
What I really take from this post is what a great example of 11th step conscious contact this is, and when that contact is maintained, nurtured and trusted, HP backs up the blessing truck. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Don't know how I missed this But WOW... What a Great Week is Right, Yes I can See Why You would be Over the Moon =) All Wonderful things, for such a Great Kind Soul :-)
I am Learning Myself Lately that The More I Continue to Focus on Handing it to HP the More Humbled, and at Peace I Find Myself... I Have a Good & a Bad I Will Share Later, but I Needed to Read this today, The Sun Is Shining So Bright Right Now, that I am On CLoud 9... I truly hope it sticks ... Even got a bit of a Sun Burn Yesterday at Moms' for Easter :0) Just enough to let me know, its Sun Screen Time again =)
Your Journey has been one of Many Ups & Downs, and I Love to Here the Excitement in Your Posts when You Get to a Place of Peace, & HP Power =) All Weekend everytime I Feel Like Being a Control Freak, I Whisper to myself non stop... I Can't You Can... I Will Let You... and After A Long Pause, I am Usually Ready to Jump Back in With Both Feet & See where HP Wants me to Fit in...
Thank You for always being Such an Inspiration...And Cancer Fund Raising Is Very Close to My Heart, I am Very Proud of You For Being Person Enough to Put Yourself Out there... Some Day I Too will have Your Courage =) You ROCK DAVE
True Friends In Recovery...
Love, Hugs, & Prayers the Blessing Keep Pouring In....
1Ness :0)