of incontinence but I also have some occasional bowel incontinence issues too. I will say around my house I only do diaper part time. I still will think I can make it to the bathroom not more than 18 feet from my chair in living room or 10 feet from my bed in a pair of underwear or nude....and I find I leak on the kitchen floor and sometimes onto the vinyl plank floor past the carpet in living room to the kitchen door...

I will say that I need to mop more often than I do. I used to not mop with my swiffer wetjet mop because it gets expensive for the fluid and also the pads...I recently bought a reusable mop that is a really nice one that you wet with hot water and on that it must be hot water that softens the rubber of the mop and then it folds in half into a sweezing mechanism and it is the best mop I have had for a long long time. I need to use it more often....but I need to dip that mop into a bucket with hot water and something like pine power or some other floor cleaner that will sanitize the floor that is covered with pee dropplets....

Anyway I wanted to share that my struggles will never stop. I did have a urinary bladder spinal cord stimulator but did not feel it helped. I had that removed. I do not think it made much difference to my issues and one thing it did do is cut the cost of running to urologist office every few months to do what they called a battery checkup. I spent hundreds on that. So I am more happy not having that and maybe leaking more than I did before but to be honest I could not tell you if I leak more or not. I just have a broken bladder controller.

It occured after three surgeries for kidney stone called Lithortrypsy. One Wed they inserted a shunt thru the bladder into the upper ureter and second wed they blasted the kidney stone with ultrasound waves to break it into many many pieces and then third wed they removed the shunt from my ureter which I then found I could no longer control my bladder. Which means I have been wearing pull up adult diapers for a few years now. Ok anyway if you are struggling then know you are not alone and I know what embarrassing feelings about wearing a diaper are. I also know that with bowel incontenence from IBSD adds to the embarrassment of a diaper. But you are not alone. I have found that I carry a diaper with me when I am going somewhere like work that could present a bowel issue. I also have found that I can use a stall at the gas station and either change out of diaper to nothing or if I have the bag with diaper I can change into diaper...but I find it embarrassing to step out of a multiple stall and urinal bathroom not knowing if someone will see a diaper in my hand to throw in trash can. So I have left a diaper in stall before filled with poop. 

Embarrassment exists...I feel it to some degree but being older I think people are more tolerant of me because I am older. I have a dumpster behind my house that roving people root thru opening sealed trash bags I do not know what they are looking for some maybe cans to recycle or others documents to steal identity but fact is when I go out and see my diapers spread around the inside of the dumpster and know that the kids next door will see or have seen them many times out there I still feel really embarrassed.

I do know the embarrassment is due to shame I grew up with as being a kid who wet the bed into my 20s....I just want you to know your not only one who has feelings like I have.....and from that we just support the idea that there are good things in our life that outweigh the personal issues with wearing a diaper....hugs bill this got long...