its best to remember that its more obvious to you then others especially right after it happens. There are some things to help with it though. First of all put on a barrier cream like calmoseptine, it will help protect your skin in the event you can't immediately change such as when driving or if you cant just change, Goes hopefully without saying but change as soon as you can, this helps quite a bit, do the best job you can cleaning up when you change before rediapered if it happens while out. Where poly (plastic) back diapers and plastic pants as these will help keep the odor from going everywhere. Using an internal deodorant that contains chlorophyll like nullo can also help.

Honestly it is the worst! But I think the most important thing is the quality of diapers you are wearing. When I use to wear Certainty and Depends it was awful. I felt like they didn't hold anything in well. Recently I changed to Hexa and Co and they are amazing. Diapers are cheaper and way more absorbent. I don't feel as anxious as I use to. Here is a link to their site, I think they do a free sample too. http://try.hexanow.com/11223344/

I to think it is more obvious to us because I,ve been in diapers along time but can,t tell if someone is wearing one.

With the right protection. Nobody has to know but You. I'm in a wheelchair. I usually wear full cut dresses and skirts. Or baggy sweat pants. If I leave home. I make sure My caregiver has Me in a overnight brief & booster pad. Or maybe even a second larger brief. If We will be out long. And I wear control top tights or hose over that. Most of the time I can't feel or tell if I have had a bowel or bladder accident. So its always when I get home and have to be changed. When We find out. But I have had some really bad bowel events in public and most of the time nobody knew. We also use nullo to cut down on the smell.