First of all sorry for my English.

I first met this guy at the bar. He was shy but very attentive and sweet. We meet up a few times and i started to fall in love. He told me he liked me but already has a boyfriend. But thing where going bad and his boyfriend was cheating on him and he wanted to end the relationship. After a few times he told me that he left him. we kissed and slept together. After a week totally in love, he told me that he was going back to his ex because he didn't want to let him go after 1,5 year. BUT he asked: "If it doesn't work out after all do you still want to date?" I was so mad and angry and didn't hear from him for 1 month. When i heard him i only told him to let me alone. So after this month he came to me and told me he definitly left his ex and wanted to be with me. I said no but he was so sweet and all of his friends came to me to tell me that he is sooo in love with me. They never saw him THAT happy. So I gave him a chance and he was soooo sweet. He was patient, caring, did EVERYTHING i asked.

Fast forward we lived together. The first 12 months he always wanted to be with me but i had to go to school and had 1 hobby. After I stoped with my hobby for him he started 3 hobby's and didn't want any time alone with me. I felt that he was leaving so i asked maby to many times if there was something wrong. He always told me that there was nothing and he loved me and would never leave me, he wanted to marry me, blah blah,... . one day we where searching for an house to rent. suddenly he had to go and didn't want me to come with him. He left 3 days after he came back to break up with me. He didn't want to tell me why because he said that he didn't know. He said: Maybe i see you more as a friend? I asked if there was someone else. (beceaus he never was out of a relationship from his 18 and now he is 26) He always told me that there was no one else. 1 week after the breakup he came back to sleep with me and once again told me there was no one else. 3 days after this i discovered that he was back in touch with his ex for a few months. 1 week after the break up he posted happy in love pictures. I doesn't understand how could he replace me in just a week.

Some things you also need to know: When i discoverd lies of him when we where in a relationship he always told me he had to lie because i make a drama of everything. Okey sometimes i make a drama but he told lies for the smallest things that woudn't upset anyone but also grand lies. 1 time he even tried to have sex with me when i didn't want to. He forced me when i kept saying NO when i started crying he let me go and said: Did you really thing that i would do such thing?  He was always texting and when he hide his telephone i asked him to let mee see his text. He told me that i didn't trust him and was angry on me. A few weeks after the break up i discovered that he was texting his ex. He always makes excuses for everything that he did wrong, it was always mine or someone else his fold AND he NEVER said sorry. 1 time he threatened me to kick me trogh the house but he didn't (he did this whit someone else a few years back.) I doesn't understand 4 times after the break up and I still have the feeling that no one understand my situation he was sooooo sweet first and everyone likes him. Sometimes I still blame myself. He looks soo happy with his new/old boyfriend they already moved in together. 

He never gave me an honest explenation and doesn't want to meet to talk. I have the feeling that i love/hate him. My mind is telling me to move on but my hart just don't let that happen. He was my first love and I still don't know if this was a normal relationship/break-up. Was he really that sweet guy when I just met him but changed when he knew he loved his ex? When i told him i just wanted te hear a sorry for all he did to me and not an excuse he told me 100 times how sorry he is and want that i find someone else. He also don't want to hear anything from the past anymore. Please help me! Thnx for reading!!!