Well, I would like to say that I too have tried the open relationship route and I too have abandonment issues. For me, the open relationship DID NOT work..... however, my bf and I BOTH agreed on that. So if you and yours were to talk about becoming monogamous then you guys would have to both be on board with it.

Now, correct me if i'm wrong but could you possibly be in the open relationship because you have adopted an idea that you don't need to get too close or be too vulnerable with anyone because that leaves you open to feeling very hurt? Kind of a "i'll leave them before they have the chance to leave me" attitude, never getting too close.

Also, I've seen my bf get aggravated with me for constantly thinking that he's going to leave me when he hasn't even given me a reason to show he would do that. So I could understand your partner getting irritated with that as well. I mean think about it from his side if it was the other way around and he was the one with abandonment issues and you knew good and well that you were loyal to him and had no intention of leaving him but yet he was constantly wanting affirmation from you that you were going to stay and constantly being worried about you leaving, how would you feel? My guess is it would probably be exhausting to have to keep reminding someone you're not going to leave.

My advice is to challenge yourself to work on healing your issues with your dad. it sounds like maybe he's the one who has made you feel abandoned because you mentioned not being able to keep a man for more than a few years and you talked about your dad and grandpa not being around so it seems like you tend to feel abandoned by men. Somehow you've got to figure out how to heal that in yourself! Also remember that not all men are going to abandon you. There are plenty of wonderful men out there! You've just got to feel comfortable with yourself and men and heal that brokenness inside you.