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Were/are you afraid of getting well?

nickyj18022002
nickyj18022002
Even though when I came to AA I was in a living hell I was still frightened of things changing even if it was for the better. I am afraid of the unknown and a life without alcohol was unknown. People told me I would experience happiness, peace, serenity, and many other things that I didn't understand and had never experienced. I was frightened of what it would be like. They said I would get connected to people and have genuine feelings and start to care about things, it sounded terrible to me.

Just because I was desperate to be out of where I was didn't mean that i wasn't terrified of where I was going. If I expressed those fears some people told me that maybe where I was wasnt bad enough if I was so worried about changing it. That wasn't true, where I was was very very bad but I was frightened of everything even the things that people told me were good things. Nothing sounded good to me it all just sounded frightening.

Has anybody else experienced this? The fear of any change whether good or bad does not seem to be talked about a lot.
deleted_user
deleted_user
YES! I was definitely standing on the jumping off point. I couldn't imagine life with or without alcohol. Change seemed for the worst. I had to put my career on hold, lose my house, sell my car and quit my job of 10 years to commit myself to getting healthy. I am learning now though to enjoy where I am in this life. That I am moving forward and not backwards. The promises tell us recovery will come sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But, I am ready for the here and the now and life is good.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think the human race dislikes change. That damned fear of the unknown. Where I was at one point was miserable for me but I kept going back to it because it was familiar. When I stopped drinking was when my fear of the known was greater than fear of the unknown.

What I've discovered in AA is that change is constant and no matter what changes come my way, my HP and my kit of spiritual tools help me through it.

This program for me has been about taking those risks and going out on that limb of doubt . The light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train today!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I absolutely fear change and I fight it at all costs. When something new is proposed at work, (this just happened yesterday) I instinctively started spouting out all the reasons why it would not work. My boss said I was not focusing on the solution but wallowing in the problem....that hit me hard because it's true, I've just never thought of it that way.

I'm not afraid of living a life without alcohol, the only thing I'm frightened of is not "getting it" meaning the 12 steps. I want it so bad that I'm afraid I may not understand and experience all that I should...and I want the whole package, not the short cut or abridged version. My sponsor helped to ease these fears greatly just last night....learning to focus on the solution is my focus for today...damn the fear!! :) Happy Friday y'all...
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my second year of sobriety as I sat in a college classroom (having arrived to AA with just a GED, I was amazed that somebody like me could ever in my wildest dreams be sitting in that seat!)

3 1/2 years later as I prepared to graduate, I remember feeling fear but it took some work with my sponsor to discover that I didn't know what I feared most...fear of failure or fear of success!

So, back out on that limb again I went!
sonyson
sonyson
HELL YES i was so scared, even know i wanted everything evryone else had, the fact of changing was diffitcult for me cos i was so used to being me, moulded into a person you didnt want to be but scared to leave it behind. I also was scared to stop drinking i could'nt see me without a drink let alone be 10 months sober.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i always had a fear of change , scared to stop drinknig and leave my comfort zone, misery n pain was all i grew to know i was scare of change coz i realized i had to face thing, n change has being the best thing i ever did, i have a new life whuch i am very grateful for.