aa Spoken Here Community Group
Fellowship Where you can share your thoughts, feelings, stories and get support to gain and continue sobriety.
As it says in the Big Book, AA does not claim to have a monopoly on treatment for alcoholics. There are many organisations, websites, books etc that claim to have solutions to problem drinking and alcoholism.
However it is important to understand that in AA we only have one solution - working the 12 step program to bring about a spiritual awakening that will solve your problem.
That is what AA is about. There may be other solutions on offer elsewhere but the 12 steps is the only solution we have in AA.
It doesnt matter what state you are in when you come to AA, what you have lost or kept, what you drink, where you drink, when you drink, your family cirumstances, your age, your life experiences, what other problems you have, how lonely, scared, depressed, angry you are, etc etc etc - it is the same solution on offer for all, and importantly it works for all who work it.
Sometimes when I work with newcomers I get the idea that they think that if things are really, really bad for them, or they are really really frightened, or they really, really can't (ie wont) do the steps - I will produce an alternative book and an alternative program and say ok as your case is different we have a different solution for you. In other words they are still looking for the easier, softer way.
Of course I dont have that, I worked the steps as laid out in the big book and that is the solution I can share with others. In my opinion it is the easier, softer way. It was easier than other solutions I tried and unlike the other solutions it did actually work for me.
If anyone can moderate or control their drinking or stop themselves using willpower or can successfully use one of the other solutions on offer elsewhere then thats great. I am happy when anyone finds a solution to their problems whatever that solution may be.
But those solutions are not what we do in AA. The AA program was designed for people for whom those other methods do not work. For those people who have lost the power of choice in drink, are unable to stop drinking entirely or unable to control the amount they drink then the 12 step program is offered as a solution.
When I first came to AA, despite the fact that my spirit was crushed and my life was barely livable, I still retained a certain arrogance that AA should provide me with what I wanted. I had a desire to stop drinking so I had every right to be in AA but that didnt mean I had to do what was suggested. I still knew what was best and AA should provide me with that. Of course I drank again.
Eventually I had the realisation that AA offered A Solution. Those people who had worked the steps and had a spiritual awakening seemed sober and happy. Those who hadnt seemed on the whole drunk and/or very miserable or didnt seem to suffer from the same drinking experiences as me.
The choice was mine but I had to realise that I could only get the sober and happy if I did the same things as everyone else had done to get it. What a novel idea!!
I raise this point to highlight to those who are new to AA or have been in AA for a while but not working the steps - if you want to be sober and happy, the steps are the way to get there.
If you are the type of alcoholic as described in the big book and you are sitting in AA waiting for another solution as an alternative to the steps you may have a long wait, may be putting your life in grave danger and are certainly denying yourself the chance of a life infinitely more wonderful than the one you are living now.
No one can make anyone do the steps, it is totally our own choice what we do, and that is the way it should be. We can spend as long as we like doing what we like and the only person reponsible for what we do or dont do is us. AA will always welcome us, assuming we are capable of making it there.
But as my sponsor is fond of saying - those who plan to get sober at the eleventh hour often die at 10.30.
Dont be one of the ones who knows what they need to do and leaves it too late to do it.
However it is important to understand that in AA we only have one solution - working the 12 step program to bring about a spiritual awakening that will solve your problem.
That is what AA is about. There may be other solutions on offer elsewhere but the 12 steps is the only solution we have in AA.
It doesnt matter what state you are in when you come to AA, what you have lost or kept, what you drink, where you drink, when you drink, your family cirumstances, your age, your life experiences, what other problems you have, how lonely, scared, depressed, angry you are, etc etc etc - it is the same solution on offer for all, and importantly it works for all who work it.
Sometimes when I work with newcomers I get the idea that they think that if things are really, really bad for them, or they are really really frightened, or they really, really can't (ie wont) do the steps - I will produce an alternative book and an alternative program and say ok as your case is different we have a different solution for you. In other words they are still looking for the easier, softer way.
Of course I dont have that, I worked the steps as laid out in the big book and that is the solution I can share with others. In my opinion it is the easier, softer way. It was easier than other solutions I tried and unlike the other solutions it did actually work for me.
If anyone can moderate or control their drinking or stop themselves using willpower or can successfully use one of the other solutions on offer elsewhere then thats great. I am happy when anyone finds a solution to their problems whatever that solution may be.
But those solutions are not what we do in AA. The AA program was designed for people for whom those other methods do not work. For those people who have lost the power of choice in drink, are unable to stop drinking entirely or unable to control the amount they drink then the 12 step program is offered as a solution.
When I first came to AA, despite the fact that my spirit was crushed and my life was barely livable, I still retained a certain arrogance that AA should provide me with what I wanted. I had a desire to stop drinking so I had every right to be in AA but that didnt mean I had to do what was suggested. I still knew what was best and AA should provide me with that. Of course I drank again.
Eventually I had the realisation that AA offered A Solution. Those people who had worked the steps and had a spiritual awakening seemed sober and happy. Those who hadnt seemed on the whole drunk and/or very miserable or didnt seem to suffer from the same drinking experiences as me.
The choice was mine but I had to realise that I could only get the sober and happy if I did the same things as everyone else had done to get it. What a novel idea!!
I raise this point to highlight to those who are new to AA or have been in AA for a while but not working the steps - if you want to be sober and happy, the steps are the way to get there.
If you are the type of alcoholic as described in the big book and you are sitting in AA waiting for another solution as an alternative to the steps you may have a long wait, may be putting your life in grave danger and are certainly denying yourself the chance of a life infinitely more wonderful than the one you are living now.
No one can make anyone do the steps, it is totally our own choice what we do, and that is the way it should be. We can spend as long as we like doing what we like and the only person reponsible for what we do or dont do is us. AA will always welcome us, assuming we are capable of making it there.
But as my sponsor is fond of saying - those who plan to get sober at the eleventh hour often die at 10.30.
Dont be one of the ones who knows what they need to do and leaves it too late to do it.
AWESOME points you have brought up here.
As when i first came to AA about 4 yrs ago i didn't understand how alcoholics could be so happy as i was as you yourself said just barely living and I was also very confused. Yes went to meetings didn't however get the message at first in AA and thought " I not like everyone else here i will stop on my own willpower" , however this was never the case. I finally eventually got "realistic with myself" and found a sponsor started working the steps and YES this is definately the only way to go in AA. As the softer way does not work, i know this because i too also kept drinking by trying the softer way to come to my "rock bottom" which was where i then became realistic with self and made my turning point by doing what was suggested in meetings working the steps , getting a sponsor, arriving early at meetings to help set up, and now also doing volunteer work.
THIS IS DEFINATELY THE ONLY SOLUTION WE HAVE IN AA.
Anna
and a quote from our beloved BASIC TEXT says:
"Unlike the feelings of the ships passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
An illness of this sort-and we have come to believe it an illness-involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferers. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parentsanyone can increase the list.
We hope this volume will inform and comfort those who are, or who may be affected. There are many. "
........................................................
botbotcoco
London PPG
www.londonppbbs.com
The excerpt above is taken from p.24 of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
Once we are ready to put as much work into our recovery as we were into our drinking, we can start straight on the Steps with a carefully chosen sponsor.
We will soon come to find we need never drink again as long as we remain in fit spiritual condition.
We don't have to fight or battle with our willpower because by practising the Steps in our daily lives we come to find that the problem is removed.
There is every reason to make that vital start and every reason to forge ahead - at the other side is happiness, normality and serenity, as those of us who have recovered can bear personal testament.
A lot of us came close to death before we had this message.
mine says the same. also, he says every one is given a certain grace period to work the steps and then follows it with "i do not know how long your grace period is."