This....Nicky is a very good question and I have just recently been exploring this very topic. I would be quite interested to hear other's take on it.

Ree

I follow Three simple rules talk briefly about what it was like, followed by what happened , briefly touching on the early recollections of how off base I was when I got to AA( while laughing as i speak) followed by the need to have a program of recovery, and how it was offered to me out of the Book in formal application of the steps . Which requires follow up work as I go along in 10-11-12. Followed by what it is like now, far different than then, but still no real expectations of anything other than the topic being discussed and how it applies today.. Life . yet a sober more flexible life. I hear you though Nicki , at times I realize how difficult , fragile and held tight a limited easy feeling , while not drinking can be. Without proper instruction . I guess I guessed that if I did not have reality, in a sense of what could happen down the road explained to me , coupled with strong step work. i may have just bailed during difficult times.
nice post and on my mind quite often,
Billy

While we're giving our message of hope to them that life can be grand and wonderful when we stop drinking also tell them that life can be horrible at times ok not in them words but something to that effact.

Give them some exmaple's of what you mean, maybe your own experince something you dont mind saying bout. Like me i would share bout my Dad's death and the diffculity around this and what happened and how i've learnt from it.

Life is life but we have to get up and carry on.

I like to talk about the promises but am quick to point out that none of them are about money or romance.

I share reality.

99/100 times people in my group think I am on a pink cloud still as I still find it hard to believe how much this program and HP have transformed my life (the miracle) and that is what I share.

Believe me Nicky, there are enough 'others' in my group sharing the shit for newcomers to know that some are sicker than others and life is not plain sailing :)

My sponsor said to me that you can tell the ones that aren't working/speaking to their sponsor by what they share and I believe that to be very true.

I tend to say that I live a happy life today and the spiritual tools I have from the programme get me through any times of difficulty with life challenges.

When I got my first year a lady who was known as a hard core sponsor, shared after I did and laughed at how happy I was and also said something to the affect about a "pink cloud", and pretty much made me feel horrible about being happy in the program and that I needed more suffering. The next member who got up to the podium a sweet senior member said. I did my hard time out there, and did not come here to be beaten up. She lef the room.

We take what we need, I have learned that since. I try to share that it was not easy, and that sometimes there is pain but the suffering is optional. The pain hopefully is done with a sponsor someone who can explain to you its ok to feel these things and why.

In meetings I am not the teacher I am the the student and it is bogglin to the newcomers. That is for me where after the meeting its important to talk to the newcomers and let them know that we are all here working on ourselves and no one is above anyone. For me also the first year I could not hear but one out of every 3 or 4 words anyway...thankfully..LOL I never understood THINK THINK THINK in fact it use to piss me off as that is all I ever did!!

Just always remember how you felt coming in, and give the newcomer a nice welcome and let them know they are safe here. Worked for me, thank you A.A.

>> We take what we need..."

Clarence Snyder once said "Giving the newcomer options is not an act of kindness".

I knew Clarence and believe me he was a trip and a legend in his own mind at times.
I remember seeing this one guy speak that I felt was a GOD. After he spoke I went up to him to say hello, and he shinned everyone on as his nose was open to these two barely legal good looking girls, and wanted nothing to do with anyone. His Lower Power was showing.

I was asked to speak in Long Beach California at a place called the Beacon House. I had only a few years. After I agree'd the secretary said thanks as Clancy bailed out on us (actually he hung up and said he was to busy when they called to remind him of his commitment). Anyway I almost feel out. How on earth was I going to take this Legends place??

When I got to the place it was packed, to the point people were on the porch looking through windows awaiting Clancy. We took our seats in the front where they were saved for the speaker and guests. I have never been more terrified in my life. My husband leaned over said go in the bthroom pray and ask God to put the words in your mouth chill out , and honey "Clancy is just another human being".

No one left, there were no whispering or dirty looks, and it was a great night. In my head I thought at the end "Clancy eat your heart out" hahahaaa. We become grandiose, and getting to be a big shot can really take its toll.

Clarence was nothing like he put on paper. He was actually a pussy cat but you would not think so by the way he talked about himself being someone who could help others when no one else could or about how newcomers should do this or that in his speachs. We are all basically full of it from time to time, you rang!!

Some say Clarence Snyder was arrogant, crass and full of resentments. As near as I can tell from his recordings they are right. I would not have wanted Clarence for a friend, neighbor or co-worker but as a sponsor he had one important quality that is extremely rare - efficacy.

I have listened to his open talks literally hundreds of times looking for some minute detail that I can prove him wrong on (and I am very good at fault-finding). When it comes to his personality he is as flawed as anything Lucifer could have invented. When it comes to his knowledge of what it takes to stay sober he is the closest thing to a profit that I have ever heard (including Bill Wilson).

Anyone can polly parrot the program, but do they walk like they talk?
I would not compare anyone in the program to the devil or a prophet, and there are many of these speakers that it gets good to them..LOL

Free will, I have it today. Just like I tried to explain to my son who asked and is a Atheist. I cannot put it into words what my HP looks, like, came from, show you in any books, pictures. But I know that what use to be in my head is now in my heart. And do not have to defend myself anymore for believing, and the proof is in the change from where I was all my life to where I am today. And although not a Athiest I was a Agnostic but not anymore.

Some of my favorie speakers are and people I have known and spoke with are. Serenity Sam, Father Leo, Keith Drum and his wife, Johnny Harris, Gene Jones, Frank Priest, all who were straight shooters but never arrogant and walked like they talked.

All we are ever going to be in the program is human. We can become even so spiritually fit that we are of no human value to anyone either.

But then again we are self centered egotiscal alcoholics who most did not even know when someone was standing on thier own toes we are so into ourselves.

Just the messenger not the message.

It's about being real. It's not about sharing my shit, like M8 says plenty will do that but it is about sharing what is happening in our lives and how we are dealing with it differently by using the spiritual tools we have been given.

I do sometimes find though that newcomers cling on to the hope and cannot imagine a time when we were once as screwed up as they feel. It's important for me to share current life stuff and how it impacts on my life and how I am managing it. It still doesn't stop people from thinking that it must be easy for me because I have been sober for a while. The reason it is difficult for newcomers to see that is because they are still so much in 'self' that it is hard for them to have empathy for those around them.

This is the wonderful thing that happens in the fellowship - we see people making those transitions all the time.

Srenity you are so right on here. When I am having difficulties in life I know that I can go to a meeting and hear what I need to hear. Many times I already know this but the affirmations of how its working in others brings me back to the basics. We show by example, that we are also still working on living life on lifes terms. That gave me hope that it to could work for me.