Just pray before you speak!! I never know what's going to come out of my mouth until I get up there. I don't like to think about it. I am not comfortable speaking in front of a room at all, so I just hit the bathroom, get on my knees, pray for the right things to say, and hope I make sense!!!! Ha!

You'll be great. :)

Thanks for that Chris Yeh dont think to many of us relish being at the front of the room me included LoL
I should have posted that a few days ago but it went ok Theres allways that relief even once I get started nerves settle I dont really know what i'm going to say either Sometimes after, like last night I think oh! didnt mention such a thing but what ever After I felt gratefull I was asked and know that in however it works like a lot of stuff in AA it helps me and I hope it is of some help to others

I know plenty of people who relish being up there and I can tell their story for them verbatim!!! LOL! Glad it went well, Tony. Big hug. :)

Glad to here it went well.

Glad it went well for you. Sharing at a top table is a great way to boost your self-confidence. There was a time when I found it difficult to speak to even one or two people even though I am not a shy type of person. Then I stopped drinking and started to go to AA meetings six nights per week. There was one small meeting where there was a member who was very helpful to me but after about two months he kept warning that it would soon be time to do a table. The thought of sitting up there and speaking to a group of people for twenty minutes did not rest easy with me but I got down to planning what I would say, just in case I would be put on the spot some night. I had it perfectly rehearsed and learned off by heart. Then the big night finally arrived and there was no escape route. Strangely, I forgot all about my perfect speech and just said whatever came into my head.

Over the following weeks I did two more tables at different meetings. Each one seemed to go very well and I started to think that I was some sort of big-wig in AA, mentioning ‘casually’ to people that I had done three top tables. Then one night a guy said: “it’s ok to do those things, as long as you’re doing them for the right reasons”. I could have knocked his block off there and then. Who did he think he was? Instead, I went away in a huff and thought about what he had said. I concluded that he was wrong to a large extent in what he was insinuating but there was also a large chunk of truth in what he had said. One lesson learned.

Now, I don’t do top tables too often because I generally only go to a couple of meetings per week. However, I never refuse when asked. Today, I can speak with ease in front of a roomful of people and rarely feel nervous. Before I start, I ask for guidance from my Higher Power and don’t ever strive for perfection or to please everyone. A lot of people used to ask me to do top tables and I thought that I must have been very good at it. Then the truth of the matter suddenly dawned on me. There was some poor soul chairing the meeting and he or she was desperately looking out for someone to do a table – anyone at all who would do it. I wasn’t important at all, but had arrived at the door at the right/wrong time.

When I do a table I don’t spend too much time on the drinking stories, although that is what many people want to hear. I speak mostly about what happened after I stopped drinking and how it has been possible for me to stay sober up until today. Some people don’t want to hear about steps and that is their choice but I speak about them anyway. It does not bother me in the least if a few people get up and walk out for a smoke because they don’t like what they are hearing. If my story inspires just one person to think about sobriety, my job will be done.

Ironic for me that this is here today. Another God thing. More than one point prudent to my situation. The other night I was asked to speak at a yearly community event called Sobriety Happens. It would only have to be a 10 or 15 min. talk. For one thing I have never spoke in front of a large number of people, probably 20 tops. The factors are: I work in a public library. This is a public event, therefore it will have a lot of people that perhaps have never attended an AA meeting. There is a "graduation" of sorts for people under Prop 36 [a CA law that gets people on the road to recovery, instead of having to do jail time]. So there is a mixture of people. Not just AA, but NA as well. So my big conflict is about the publicness of it. As the usual thinking goes, what if [God forbid] I should go back out. I do not, of course, ever plan on it, but as we all know we are on a daily reprieve. I am not worried about my anonymity in the context of family and friends, as they all know I am in the program. I am more worried about a library customer that may say something to me at my job. My boss knows, but some of my co-workers do not. Is this a false worry? Do you think that I am sub-consciously trying to think of reasons I shouldn't do it. I really am trying to not let ego have any part in this. I am trying to stay grounded in humility. I would appreciate any advise or suggestions. Thanks for reading ~ atticus P.S. I am 8 1/2 years sober.

Your anonymity is a valid concern. There may be someone who needs to hear what you have to say, though. I was asked to speak for someone's first anniversary last night and I was sitting in the chair while everything was being read thinking I CANNOT DO THIS! I prayed, and prayed, and prayed to keep the ME out of it and to just not pass out in front of everyone. A friend helped, too. :P

I used to say flat out NO all the time and that was not good for me. It really has helped me tremendously to do a lot of the things I refused to do years ago.

When is the event?

The event is September 28th. Thanks so much for your input. I will be praying about it.