aa friends Community Group
Welcome. If you come to visit for the first time and have some questions feel free to ask. PM someone if you like but don't stay a stranger. We were all in the pit. We know a way out. No condemnation and no hammers. Just ask and prepare to make a load of friends.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
--Step Nine
When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self-defeating or hurtful.
Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem. Other times, instead of saying I'm sorry, what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person.
There are times when bringing up what we have done and apologizing for it will make matters worse.
We need to trust timing, intuition, and guidance in this process of making amends. Once we become willing, we can let go and tackle our amends in a peaceful, consistent, harmonious way. If nothing feels right or appropriate, if it feels as if what we are about to do will cause a crisis or havoc, we need to trust that feeling.
We deserve to be at peace with ourselves and others.
Today, I will be open to making any amends I need to make with people. I will wait for Divine Guidance in the process of making any amends that are not clear to me. God, help me let go of my fear about facing people and taking responsibility for my behaviors. Help me know I am not diminishing my self-esteem by doing this; I am improving it.
--Step Nine
When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self-defeating or hurtful.
Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem. Other times, instead of saying I'm sorry, what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person.
There are times when bringing up what we have done and apologizing for it will make matters worse.
We need to trust timing, intuition, and guidance in this process of making amends. Once we become willing, we can let go and tackle our amends in a peaceful, consistent, harmonious way. If nothing feels right or appropriate, if it feels as if what we are about to do will cause a crisis or havoc, we need to trust that feeling.
We deserve to be at peace with ourselves and others.
Today, I will be open to making any amends I need to make with people. I will wait for Divine Guidance in the process of making any amends that are not clear to me. God, help me let go of my fear about facing people and taking responsibility for my behaviors. Help me know I am not diminishing my self-esteem by doing this; I am improving it.
I made a list after doing 5&6&7 I added any fears not connected to my inventory...Started making Amends pretty quickly, to those that were not,overly pissed at me.You gotta start somewhere Lol!!Had to keep some people in prayers ,until the willingness, or the right opportunity presented itself. Still have the list many a check mark .by names, principles and Institutions.Getting back to then though , Bill moved Me right along to Step Ten,( real eye opener In continuing ), to pay attention to myself with others. In fact , It was very un-natural, but the alternative was still, all of my old idea's,I faltered and stumbled ,but didn't fall. I ran in to new AAers who took me, and not even fearfully into the 11th and 12th steps. Continuing meant to me , at least as a definition of the word...( practicing)
Thank god for the simple direction I was given , for which I continued. Whether out of desperation ,our just being tired . I was to young to continue living as i was , 'And these were My sober thoughts":)
Billy
then there's cash register honesty lol...................maureen
yeah billy i hear ya..
Amends is more than an apology. It's asking what I can do to help right my wrongs. Whether it's materiel, or in the case of those I love, living daily amends as to not repeat my past behaviour.