I didn't say anything earlier because I know how people can react when they hear that someone is suicidal.  The good news is that this person, my son, was not doing  well but is now doing better.  Saturday night my husband and I were on our way to pick up my son who lilves across town with his aunt and uncle.  My husband was texting him and all of a sudden my son,  his name is Josh, asked his dad if he could tell him something and of course my husband said yes and Josh said he was suicidal and had been for years!  

I did not see this coming!  My son has been through a lot, no question about it, and I knew that he had issues he was dealing with but this was a total shock.  And this kind of thing is really scary to me especially, since I have had depression all my life and severe depression for the past 25 years.  I have always worried about passing all of this on to Josh.  

I love Josh more than life itself but parenting has always been hard for me as I have been so debilitated by depression and mental illness.  I contiune to struggle with basic functioning and getting things done, but I do believe that over the years I have made headway in my relationship with Josh and it has been greatly tested these past few days.  

We talked a lot over the past few days and today he saw one of his two therapists.  My husband and I went in to talk to her too after Josh's session and she did not look at all worried. It was clear that Josh was feeling better and although we all still have a lot of work to do to continue on the path of good mental health, we are making headway.  

I am really proud of Josh. Two years ago he beat cancer and also has Aspergers and ADD.  He has been through so much and yet he is now doing well in school and has good friends who he is close to as well as two parents who would go to the ends of the earth for him.  

Just wanted to share this with all of you. Thanks.  Heidi.