A MOMs loss by ADOPTION Community Group
This group will hopefully provide a place for all of us parent's that have lost their children by adoption(either by choice or by state enforced). Adoption of a child is a proven painfull daily thing to live with. This site will be for anyone who lost their kids due to states taking them away or the adoption by choice!
Well yesterday the foster care worker thats on the case had to come to do a home visit. I have court January 27th and she said that she does not want me to get my hopes up and that I might not get them back when we go to court, she said they have to do a 6 month investigation because they need to make sure we do all the recomendations and that even though we are doing them now if they give us our kids we might just be like ok we don't have to do this any more, and i said to her why would we do that and risk getting them taken away again. She said that we might not get them back until June!! Now thats bull first of all i didn't do anything and they should give them back at court!!
deleted_user
ok i know that you are upset...but whatever you do, do not say anything to the worker other then what you are doing to work on recomendations...they can and will always use what you say against you in court if they can...just stay calm...it is going to be ok...when you go to court make sure and ask what do they have as proof for the investigation other then hear say....and get copies of everything...but do not get mad or upset in the court room...the judge will look down on that...you have to fight smart on this one..make sure if you can to bring outside people in to tell the court what kind of a parent you really are this will help if they can not come get them to write something on paper and have it sign by a noterier...it will be ok...they said the same thing to me...yet never took the kids because they had nothing but someone else word that something was going on.....i am here if you need anything...
deleted_user
In my story, I did exactly what I was supposed to do and still lost my baby in the end! Robin is SO RIGHT when she says they will hold anything you say against you forever and ever right till the end! You MUST watch you p's and q's with these people! You have to ask like they are out to get you! Cause if u screw up,(miss an appointment) IT WILL BE USED AGINST YOU IN THE COURT< YOU MUST BE 100%COMPLIANT, always! I dunno what to say on the kids coming home part! YOu and your hubby if there is one, will have to both be 10%compliant with your case plan or they will say you were not all that determined to get your children back! In my case the end result was that I had my rights severed to my oldest daughter but not to my two newer ones by a diff father! They said we were 2 diff families! So, If I had to do all over again, I WOULD have asked for a trial in the begining, and then did whatever I could to get them back,HONESTLY, your children have to be in the system for more tan 13 months for the state to take them on,LENGTH OF TIME IN SERVICE,(and YES, they can just severe your rights for this reason, even if it was not your fault!)REALLY,these people have more rights than the police do! So, you may want to talk to your attorney on having a TRIAL NOW, even if your odds of winning aren't that good, at least tehn you have the year to prove yourself, if the Judge doesn't just give then to u at this Trial date! THE LONGER YOUR CASE GOES ON THE MORE SHIT HEY WILL GET ON YOU(VIA, COUNSELING,EVERYTHING IS GOING DIRECTLYBACK TO THE CASE WORKER)THE HARDER IT WILL BE TO GET YOUR KIDS BACK, AND THEN THE KIDS MAY SAY STUFF OVER A PERIOD OF TIME AND THAT TOO WILL BE HELD AGAINST U IN COURT! I'm very serious, this is some very scary stuff you are into right now, and probly don't even realize how serious! Please do all that they ask,for your children's sake. The same thing happened to me with my daughter,onlyi'm 3 years from it and without her?What state are u in and how old are the kids?
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we are here to support you no matter what?
deleted_user
Say NOTHING NEGATIVE in counseling but be in counseling. Talk about the good things you did as a family: walks to the park, trips to amusement parks, holiday traditions (picking out a Christmas tree) family get togethers with grandparents, trips to Disney, birthday parties, baking cookies ...
deleted_user
I just went thru all of that about a week ago. Let me know if you wanna talk about it! I'm here for ya. I come into this Group quite often! Hugs to you, - Mollie Malone.
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