Remember Hollywood Squares?Posted on 11/26/08, 02:29 am >>>Subject: (fwd) Great lines from the Hollywood Squares
>>>
>>>>These great questions and answers are from the days when game show
>>>>responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are
>>>>now.
>>>>Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.
>>>
>>>>
>>>>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
>>>>
>>>>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
>>>>you be?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>>>>
>>>>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
>>>>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes
>>>>
>>>>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
>>>>a woman?
>>>>A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>>>>
>>>>Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
>>>>that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
>>>>married?
>>>>A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>>>>
>>>>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
>>>>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>>>>
>>>>Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
>>>>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
>>>>
>>>>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
>>>>hands while talking?
>>>>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
>>>>give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>>>>A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
>>>>get any during the first year?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>>>>
>>>>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>>>>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>>>>
>>>>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
>>>>camps. One is politics, what is the other?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>>>>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
>>>>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Can boys join the CampFire Girls?
>>>>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>>>>
>>>>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
>>>>goose do?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>>>>
>>>>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>>>>
>>>>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
>>>>the habit of kissing a lot of people?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>>>>
>>>>Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!
>>>>Poo!" What does this mean?
>>>>A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
>>>>
>>>>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
>>>>what was he trying to do?
>>>>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
>>>>elephant?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>>>>
>>>>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>>>>
>>>>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
>>>>has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>>>>A. Charley Weaver: His feet
>>>>
>>>>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
>>>>bed?
>>>>A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
>>