Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Man

Phone conversations last 30 seconds
You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open all your own jars
Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight
When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
The garage is all yours
The remote is yours and yours alone
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
Wedding plans take care of themselves
If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
Chocolate is just another snack
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
Three words: Flowers fix everything!
One pair of shoes is more than enough
You can say anything and not worry about what people think
Car mechanics tell you the truth
You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
Gray hair and wrinkles add character
Wedding dress $2,000, tuxedo rental $100
You don't care if someone is talking behind your back
You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
One mood, all the time.