A Laughter Club Community Group
We would like to invite you to join our group! A Laughter Club is for people who understand just how serious a matter humor is to one's survival and even to one's success in life. We share jokes, riddles, short stories, and other laughter-provoking thoughts. We have one simple rule: If you wouldn't say it to a child because it contains inappropriate...
Question: How many misers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None - misers are too cheap to change a light bulb; they'd rather sit in the dark!
Chandelier Man
I walked into a convenience store early this morning and there was a guy hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling, so I asked the clerk what he was doing up there. The clerk said, "Oh, don't worry about him - he's just some local crazy guy who thinks he's a light bulb." I said, "Don't you think you should help him get down from there before he falls and hurts himself?" The clerk responded, "Yeah, I guess I could, but then I would have to work in the dark."
Answer: None - misers are too cheap to change a light bulb; they'd rather sit in the dark!
Chandelier Man
I walked into a convenience store early this morning and there was a guy hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling, so I asked the clerk what he was doing up there. The clerk said, "Oh, don't worry about him - he's just some local crazy guy who thinks he's a light bulb." I said, "Don't you think you should help him get down from there before he falls and hurts himself?" The clerk responded, "Yeah, I guess I could, but then I would have to work in the dark."
Five...one to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder she is standing on!!
Q: How many Magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on what you want it changed in to...
Q: How many Fisherman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four, one to change the light bulb and three to brag about how big the old one was and about the one that they would have changed, but "It got away"
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many Lunatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the light bulb and the other to tell him to make sure he sticks his fingers in the socket first, to see if the electricity is switched on.
A man was polishing a light-bulb before inserting it into the socket, when there was a big flash and a genie appeared before him.
`I am the genie of the light-bulb,' he said.
`I will answer any three questions for you - but only three. Do you have three questions you would like to ask?'
`Who? Me?' said the man.
`Yes, you,' said the genie.
`Now, what is your third question?'
A: 3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue
for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of
the light socket
A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
A4. Rottweiler: Make me.
A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from
the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of
the situation.
A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?
A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...
A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF.
Answer: Two; one to assure us that everything possible is being done, while the other screws the light bulb into a water faucet.
OLD ONE: how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One-- but the bulb has to REALLY WANT TO CHANGE!