“A Conspiracy!” cried the delighted lady, clapping her hands. “Of all things, I do like a Conspiracy! It’s so interesting!”

- Lewis Carroll: “My Lady, Sylvie and Bruno” (1889)

“I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.”

-Paranoid affirmation

Affirmations
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12863916

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district-court judge found the perfect green tie to match one of her husband's sport jackets. Soon after, while the couple was relaxing at a resort complex to get his mind off a complicated criminal-conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a "bug" planted by the conspiracy defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C., for analysis. Two weeks later, the judge phoned Washington to find out the results of their tests. "We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.' "

Christmas Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5576139

Please put on your aluminum foil hat before proceeding. It helps to deflect the mind control beams from government satellites. Also, smile, because Big Brother is watching you!

Government Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4904470

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

Monsters And Other Fictional Folks
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3037004

“America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.”
-John Updike

American Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10842711

Matthew: It’s a conspiracy.
Jack Bellicec: What’s a conspiracy?
Matthew: Everything.

- W.D. Richter, “Invasion of the Bodysnatchers” (1978)

I looked up 'paranoia' in the dictionary. It said, "What do you want to know for?"

Book Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6682893