"My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By sixty-five, he was just a pair of pants and a head."
-Jeff Altman

Frank: Do you have holes in your clothes?
Ernest: No, of course not.
Frank: Then how do you get them on?

Maude: Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I buy a new hat.
Mattie: Oh, so that's where you get them.

Eve: I think the clothes dryer must have shrunk my blouse. The collar is so tight that I can hardly breathe.
Adam: Don't be silly. You've got your head through the buttonhole.

What did the tie say to the hat?
"You go on a-head - I'll just hang around here for a while."

Melody: Is that a real diamond ring you're wearing?
Marcy: If it isn't, I've just been gypped out of two dollars.