I do not know where to begin it seems as though my world has fallen apart. I suffered physical abuse as I was growing up, and beaten black and blue when it was discovered I was Gay. Treated as though I was mentally ill, when it was not all right to be Gay.Gay.

I met a guy through an ad that had been with other men. They found out he was married, but because of a hysterectomy his wife could no longer have sex with him they asked him to leave her.

I once saw a man I knew, right before my eyes become a broken man. He was so broken I thought he would think of ending his life, because his wife found out he had been with men and kicked him out of the house, which drove him to the booze.

I wanted the person I met to be happy, and not hit rock bottom like my friend did. I accepted the fact he loved his wife, and that no matter what happened he would never be mine.

I fell in love with him, but because of an injury to his back he told me he was in pain. I do not think he was making this up, and I believe he was serious. He told me if he had surgery the pain would only be worse. Every time we got together he was hard as a brick, but he never got off no matter what I did. He told me he would tell his wife, he had to get it some where if he was ever discovered he liked being with men. I just did not think that would settle too well.

The thing that bothers me right after he verbally told me he loved me he broke off all contact. I just do not know how to deal with that only that it hurts and gets me down.

I am open for comments