I have a friend who can't get sober. When she was in detox. she got a flashback of her father trying to kill her mother - she went back to the booze.

My dad was very mean-spirited, and a Jekyll and Hyde type, like many abusers are. He used to do horrific things to the family dogs, and I'll never, ever forget those incredibly painful memories.

I'm starting to realize now, after he's deceased, how much I hated him...and how I repressed that hatred out of guilt. I loved those dogs, and just writing about this has brought up the hatred I feel for him. He was such a coward.

My sister told me that he did violent things to our mother too, but that he hid from me. I never saw any of that.
I believe what my sister told me, anyone who could do what he did to the dogs is capable of just about anything. I did know that my mother was very much afraid of him.

I always thought it was funny how my mother pitied the children in the commercials where the little boy is watching his parents yell at each other from the stair case. She liked to pretend like her marriage was spotless. I've asked her why she allowed me to live in a home with her when she knew she was constantly fighting with my step dad (4), and she just pretends like nothing ever happened. Hmm, maybe I just made up all those memories of having contradictory lessons taught to me at home. "Do the right thing" unless it's your mom's new husband. In this case, do the wrong thing, pretend you didn't see anything, and stay out of the way.

My mother always took the abuse and never fought back only to protect us. She tried to have us as less exposed to it as possible, even though it was happening in the house. The only sighting I had ever witnessed was when the cops were called and our dog had ended being shot because of him..... He tried sicking her on the cop, which didn't work, but one of the other ones thought she was dangerous and shot her because she was a german shepherd... I remember waking up and the cop was knocking on my window wanting me to let him into the house so they could tackle him through the back and arrest him, but I was too afraid. I should have.. My mother still hates him for that. My sister witnessed him choking my mom once in the hallway because her room faces the hallway. My mom was looking straight into her face.... I wish she'd never seen it... Me and my sister have turned out kind of polar opposites because of what has happened to us. We both of course have relationship issues, that's a given, but I've noticed how I care more for my academics, am more involved with school, work harder, she lacks motivation severely, is more involved with drugs and drinking(not so hardcore but still), we're more of the two outcomes that can happen with things like this. She's turning into my dad and I don't want that to happen and she even hates it when we tell her that, but it's true. She acts like he did when he was younger. She just lacks the juvie record. I just want her to succeed in life... I want both of us to be alright.

My parents fought nightly, beginning when my father came home from work and lasting until the early hours of the morning. We didn't get a lot of sleep at our house. My mother was the aggressor in fights. She had difficulty recognizing the difference between reality and fiction. She would read a murder mystery book and accuse my father of being a murderer, then threaten to report him to the police. She also called the police on one of my brothers and on another occasion on myself, claiming that we had committed horrible crimes when we never did. She even called a school once to tell them that I was a drug dealer - completely insane, as I have never bought, sold, or used drugs. Maybe some voices in her head told her, I'm not sure. I have recently described my mother's behavior to an expert, and he told me that my mother probably has schizophrenia and narcissism combined, which may explain why I spend every day in search of 'normalcy' in life.

When parents fight, the children suffer, and the suffering can last a lifetime. But healing is possible.