Beaumont, this is serendipitous - and I don't cave to such things lightly. I was just journaling elsewhere that I think I got into the bad situation with my ex girlfriend (threatened to kill me and when that didn't faze me she tried to set up a scheme that I would be arrested for abusing her) because of force of habit. I'm just used to being around a certain caliber of human being, usually female - manipulative, abusive in every imaginable way; used to being financially strapped and lacking in knowledge on how to nurture a better way of living. It's not that I like this, it's that, even though I know this sucks in real time, there exists also in real time an absence of knowledge so that I don't even know what to ask for to make things better. I thought that the last woman I was with was the worst - she just took all my money, and when it ran out, she asked me to move to the homeless shelter and we could continue to date. When I was ready to date again four years later, I focused on what I wanted, which is fine, but it never occurred to me to consider what I DON'T want. Because I got a woman who was smart funny, creative, apparently confident; but she also had a fiendish temper and she strategized her abuse; she (attempted to in my case) set up circumstances so that she would be seen as the victim if there was a fight going on.

I don't know when I'm going to start dating again; but the point is: I think it's healthy for us to sort of say I don't want this... that... or whatever AS WELL AS SAYING I do want this... that ... and whatever. I've tried doing only the positive thinking stuff and I got a chick who was all that I'd hoped for, but I never 'saw' her temper, her violent side, and her lack of integrity. I think we need to think about why we are where we are in real time, on our own terms and replace the force of habit and absence of knowledge with its opposite - knowledge. Maybe finding what we want starts with understanding on our own terms with our own thoughts why we are where we are. (not ask the law of attraction, God, or anyone else; ask one's self).

"How is it possible for us to move on to something better? " My opinion: define "better" clearly, succinctly and on personal terms - not anyone else but your own terms; "map out", if you will, the route you'll take from the point you're at to where you want to be (for example, if you have a job you hate but you always wanted to join the circus, matter-of-factly determine how you'd do this); when showing yourself obstacles, negatives or anything being counter productive in your head, remember - it's your head, you're in charge (show this part of yourself the respect it deserves and listen to it with the intent of learning lessons of caution so that you can do what you want to do, live where you want to live, and so on).

These are actions that will yield reactions and these can be fluid and bring lessons and whatever that one can't anticipate; but this is also why one has to be clear on what s/he wants as well as doesn't want.

(btw: by "you" here and there I mean the universal "you" not a particular person)

I live on a bad street. It was perfectly fine before they built the new homes. The new homes were built on a previous apple orchard that was pretty enough to be married in. It was peaceful. Wildlife was happy and had the space that it needed. The existing neighbors and I had breathing room and our street was devoid of cars zooming back and forth every freaking day. My mood has soured over the last several years. I am not the bread winner in our family so it bugs me to no end that I don't have a say in whether we stay or move. I hate to label but my neighbors are these things in order to my right: flaky & bigoted; odd; 2 large egos; sociopath & trapped husband; fake and whipped husband; holier than thou; and last of all but not least, shut-in & bandwith hog. It's bad of me, but I am sure they label me as a hermit. Eh. At least I wave.

BooClouds I had to laugh at the description of your neighbors. The thing is you probably find the same kinds of people on every street, at least you have figured your neighbors out. If you move somewhere else you have to start again. I don't want to move anywhere, because I know I am somewhat safe where I live and I also figured out the neighbors, some are nice, some thing they are better than others, some drink, some smoke weed etc etc.