I think that immaturity and childish behavior or mentality doesn't necessarily have something to do with gender. Regardless of gender, some people never grow up.

I can cite what a grown up man should be, which is just like a grown up woman should be. People with some maturity should have some integrity, a sense of personal responsibility, a strong sense of ethics, his/her word should have value. What we find around is a lot of immature insecure people that only now how to either brag or argue. A lot of self-centeredness and sense of entitlement is what I see a lot of in adults.

Moral character issue’s aside (because that would be true to people of any gender and age), I’m a supporter of a traditional gender role: a man to the bread winner of a household, and protector of his family. Have you seen movies, “The Family Man” and “Courageous”? If I had a son, I’d want him to watch these two movies for sure. I'm sorry I can't give more specifics like chris1976 did.

Great reply Chris, I fully agree. Gender does not determine the adult, it is deeper than that. I would add to your description a respect of others and their differences, a willingness teach by good example, and unshakable morals.

I have encountered far too many males who think that being a man means swearing and cursing, drinking and smoking, bullying and fighting, and talking obsessively about sports and their criminal activities. I need to somehow find real men to be friends with. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to figure it out.

Good for you! Go, Beaumont, go!

My definition of a man, is extremely skewed. My father was the worst example of a father figure I got. He screwed up my examples for relationship male figures aswell. Being an abusive drunk to my mother and, say for example, chasing my mother with a hatchet or smashing our phone isn't great or listening to them constantly yell when he's drunk. My mother never did anything back though because we were always in the house. He never did anything to me or my sister either, but he still terrified me because he was a completely different person and because of it it's destroyed a part of who I could have been, but it's also built someone entirely so in a disgusting way, I almost thank him.

As a man, and as a survivor of abuse, I have seen many, many females being abusive to men by telling them that their behavior isn't the one of a man. They manipulate men by appealing to "what being a man should be" and all they are really doing is trying to control men. Then they complain when they become assholes. Women that are abusive towards men always attack their masculinity and try to impose their own definition of "being and acting like a man".

So that's why I don't make gender-specific definitions about what a grown up adult is or should be. I am not going to fall into the trap that many abusive controlling women put on us by attacking my masculinity or what 'being a man" is.

Please understand that many men are in fact abused by women trying to tell them that they aren't man enough.

I do believe my idea of what a man is was different when i was younger... i had formed an idea of what it was based on my step father that i grew up with (whom was my abuser) I learn young that a man was someone that yelled alot, drank 24/7, lied, cheated, controlled everyone in the house, was intimidating, and was able to take advanage of me for his own benifits no matter the cost to me physically or emotionally. Now that ive been in a marriage for 25 yrs and married to someone just like my abuser from my childhood i am starting to see that this definition of what a man is ... is not how its supposed to be... what i grew up with is a distorted thought of a man full of abuse. Im really trying to change my situation but i think a huge dose of learned helplessness has held me stuck in the situation i married into. Someday i hope i can experience the company of what a man really is and have a healthy supportive relationship.