Well, I can only speak from my experience but the most helpful therapist I had was one who had been to hell and back herself. The therapists who had "normal" childhoods were sympathetic but... they couldn't help me like I needed. My therapist has provided not only empathy but personal stories of her own struggles (just a few... but enough to make her point) and has provided me with a role model of what life can look like once I get a little further down the healing path. But I think it's crucial that that person has throughly worked their own traumas and knows how to set and maintain professional boundaries.

I think those of us who have been hurt so much want to help others out of the pit. But we can never, ever pull someone else out (as much as we might want to). And watching someone else wade through their own struggles (and fall sometimes) without trying to "rescue" them is challenging. But "saving" someone isn't a therapists' job. It's supporting and providing a more objective perspective.

I've learned their just like everyone else. Some of them get too involved, others don't give enough attention to their job, some let their personal views get in the way of their job. I've had experiences with bad professionals, ones who were completely nuts and others who were very kind and supportive in a healthy way.
My own trauma has given me the motivation behind why I am picking the career path I am on.
I do wish that the people who saw me as a kid had been better than what they were. I had police officers who only saw what my mom wanted them to see, but they took it a step farther. A cop drove me home once and after he finished berating me he called his wife and proceeded to tell her over the phone what a pain in the ass, ungrateful, immature... it went on and on. Car ride was over half an hour. I have been lectured by a judge for even telling the police what I did about my parents. He came very close to calling me a liar. When I was in the hospital even after saying repeatedly that I did not want to see my parents they were still allowed to come back to my room. I didn't talk the rest of the day. I don't understand why they were all so unwilling to listen to me and it scares me that there could be other people stuck in the same situation I was in.
Sorry for the ramble- draw what you will.

I am going to be frank. I have tried talk therapy in different places and with different therapists. My personal experience has been that therapy harms me. I have never left a therapists office without feeling hopeless and suicidal. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe it's the demographics of southern California, where more Americans are moving away from every year than are moving in (if it weren't for Mexican illegal aliens flooding into California, the state would have a shrinking population - no jobs, high taxes, and laws that protect the criminals are just a few of the problems here). If I had the money and knew for sure of a better state to move to, I would leave southern California. Maybe I would go to one of the states where the good therapists moved when they left. Maybe it's because I can't afford the really good therapists. Whatever the reason, the truth for me is that talk therapy hurts me and I will never try it again, at least not in this part of the world.

However, I do understand that therapy seems to work for some people, so I say if it helps you, keep doing it.

Biwi, I think I understand just a little of what you went through. They attempted to return me to my abusive mother once after I got away from her. They told me that it couldn't be that bad. The truth is that it was worse than I had words to describe it with at the time. To this day, I am no friend of police officers, social workers, or other authority figures. I've not met one who wasn't a cold, almost psychopathic personality. They judge what they have no understanding of, and then make decisions based on their faulty judgments Society is insane.

1) My opinion of professionals in the mental health field: I've had the priviledge of having two very amazing counselors. One was 10 years ago when I had a year of sobriety under my belt and all that pain and anger I had been numbing away showed up for its day on stage.....all at once! The second is the one I have now. She is phenomenal and I wouldn't trade her in for anything in the world. She guides me, but she works with me on what I'm prepared to work on. Nothing is ever forced. We just take it session by session, she sees what is on my mind and what I am struggling with and she gives me "homework" for the week. It's really nice. As for psychiatrists, they are pretty much just regular doctors with a specialty in psychiatric medicine. Most of the ones I've met that are older tend to be a little stuffy and "holier than thou" which makes me not really care for that profession much. However, I realize they see mental illness from a medical perspective...a bodily function...and their job is to treat it with medication. So, I only see them for that and I don't ask for their advice on anything other than medication. I have had met a few other psychologists over the course of my life that were not very effect. One was when I was a teenager. I refused to talk to him because I was convinced it would not be confidential. He told my mother I was suicidal and she spent the next 2 years checking on me at night to make sure I was still breathing. When I caught her doing this, she finally told me what he had said. I've never been suicidal in my life. Another psychologist told me that he simply did not care what I thought or what anyone else had diagnosed me with, that he was the professional and I did not have clue what I was talking about. I'd been treated for depression for over 10 years at that point and I am not a stupid person by any means. So, after his lovely monologue, I grabbed my purse and walked out of his office. I stopped at the front desk to let them know I would not be paying the bill and if they tried to bill me I would make sure he was investigated for being an a**hole.

2) I definitely think that abuse survivors make better therapists. However, I agree with Meg on this one....they definitely need to have moved beyond the problem and worked out their issues. I would never expect any therapist to be perfect by any means. They are human beings. However, I think it is best if they are at a place in their own lives where they are not living in the anger and sadness any longer and they take measures every day to live a healthy life. Ethically, the therapist needs to be an example of healthier, happier living. If they aren't how could we trust them to guide us?

3) I am on the road to building my own kind of career in the helping profession. I have completed massage therapy school and I just need to pay for my national certification exam and state license. Once I have that, I plan on marketing myself among the mental health community and build a clientele who are in therapy for abuse/trauma recovery. I will have to take Continuing Education (24 hours every two years) to maintain my license, so I'm going to focus on Somato-Emotional Release and Trauma Touch Therapy. While I'm building my massage business...slowly....I'm going to also return to school to complete my bachelor's degree in psychology and then continue on to my master's degree in counseling psychology. I will have to maintain that license as well with continuing education, so I plan on focusing on therapies for abuse/trauma victims. There are very few schools in the US that have Somatic Psychology programs, so basically I'm building my own because my state does not offer anything of the sort. I plan on creating a more holistic therapy practice to guide survivors into healthier living and not just healthier thinking.

Never fear....It looks like I'm piling a lot on my plate, but I'm really not. It's the journey that matters to me, not how fast I get there or even if I manage to accomplish it all. It's a vision I have and I am committed to bringing it to life. Meanwhile, I will continue my own healing journey because I believe there is always something to learn and ways to grow and that its a lifelong process.

4) I think some of the changes that need to made to better serve survivors of child abuse is more funding, of course, for those dealing with economic hardship. I also think there needs to be a more holistic approach to healing that includes not just the mind, but the body and spirit as well. I think healing of any sort should be a whole-being process.

@Beaumont - This is the second time today that I've heard awful things about California and the laws there that protect criminals. It just utterly appalls me to no end. I guess I am fortunate that I have not had to deal with such things. It sounds just horrible. I will definitely not be moving there....EVER.

I also feel really bad that you have had such awful experiences with the mental health profession. I hope to be one of many people to change that. I also hear a lot of this from people here on DS and it just baffles me to no end. I've been so fortunate to have really good counselors when I was ready to have one....not when it was forced on me....and therapy has been very good for me. Some of it has been talk therapy and some has been other types like Art Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are some amazing new therapies out there, but of course, it isn't always easy to find therapists trained in them. Its unfortunate because I think if more members of the mental health profession would embrace change, we would see a lot more people reaching wellness.

I think once you reach an age (so that the choice is yours alone and not influenced by sometimes less then helpful adults) and healing level where you can select a therapist/counselor/psychologist who is right for you, it can be very helpful.
That said, I was sent to a few therapists as a child. With my mother present. So we focused on keeping my (already great) grades high. Wow, that was helpful, I'm literally running away yearly from the age of 5 and on, but we'd better keep those grades up while I'm gone!
As an adult, I went to see a few alone, because my marriage was going sour. Now, my ex's form of abuse was very well hidden, and based around personal triggers from my past relationship and childhood. So again, I got non helpful advice (well, if he wants you to cook more, it's a good sign, he likes your cooking! Maybe you could flex on that one issue and make an effort to do more for him around the house. That way he has plenty of time to drink himself stupid and rape you later! Ok, they didn't say that :P)
Then when I left my husband, he begged me back into counseling together. Once. I thought, fine, we can clear the air a little bit. My bad! He talked, I got blamed, and the counselor suggested if I just cared a little bit more, took better care of my husband and our house, things would be fine. And really, is that asking too much? I left him after the appointment.
I am back in therapy now, new therapist, new place in my life. We will see how it progresses, but today was a good visit, she pointed out a lot of things I hadn't hit on before, and we had a good time. She specializes in the issues I have, and has years of experience with them, and I am very hopeful. She's the first I have ever visited who said my behaviour was the result of a good person surviving crappy situations I could not have changed. I wasn't to blame tosay, I didn't fail as a wife or daughter, I wasn't neglecting someone elses needs.
Now, I'm not sure if this is because she has a better insight into my personal situation, or if it's because I no longer feel (or express to others) that maybe, if I had just folded those socks just right, he wouldn't have been mad. That this time maybe the change is because I realize that my failing to know what so and so ate for lunch, and cook something different for diner, is not my bad is the change here.
We will see!

In my case I have had both good and not-so-good experiences. Sadly there are some mental health professionals that are not as good or ethical as they should be. The help that I have gotten through therapy is great. My current therapist is great. She's younger than me but she's very good at helping me sort things out.

I did have once a therapist that was very judgmental and acted all two-faced when i complained to her supervisor. So the same way that one can get a bad roofing job, one could get a bad therapist. Sometimes it might not be the therapist, but his/her techniques or the setting might not be right.

Overall, I don't think that it's OK to not try getting professional help in dealing with something as difficult to deal with as abuse. Talking to friends or family members (or even a support group) alone might not provide the help or safe space that one needs to deal with issues.

Here I go...for me my relationship with Jesus is the true restoration but I think He uses different people (including professionals) and medication to help me get well. Not every person is the same so there is not one fits all means of getting better. I am scared to peices right now to post this but it's me how I feel and it's what I believe.

I very strongly believe that people who had difficult childhoods should become therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors, if they choose to do so. They can bring a much needed perspective to these fields of work. I don't have any prejudices against people who were abused as children, and I don't think that because some people might have such prejudices that any person who has experienced abuse should be precluded from entering these fields. A little over a year ago, I briefly met a German woman who was sexually abused as a child and later in life emigrated to the United States, where despite being in her late fifties, she was able to attend college and begin a new life as a therapist.

Still, I am not perfect. I admit to having a bias against people who come from healthy families and who have lived privileged lives, who are fresh out of college, trying to provide therapy to people who are really suffering in a bad way. I think that such people should be required to undergo thorough training beyond college so that they can get some perspective and understanding of what it means to have your life devastated by abuse before they are allowed to counsel anyone. Call it an anti-greenhorn bias if you like. Or call it 'walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me'.

Personally for me my opinion of professionals in this field is not good. I sought out these people for help and all I got was medications pushed on me, and little support when I finally expressed my trauma. I was placed in an institution when I asked for help. When I got out and I was no better, I only felt further from any relief or assistance. I eventually attempted to end my life, but woke in the hospital mad as hell to find I was still in hell, I was reinstitutionalized, and required to follow up with these people who were only interested in confining me, or putting me in an environment where I felt like I was a prisoner.

I on my own, went through the withdrawl process to come off of all of the medications they had put me on, and I plan to stay the hell away from any of them for the rest of my life. I will never seek their help again. I am healthier here on DS than sitting in a chair with someone starring at me and expecting me to talk, and push pills on me.

I do believe that only those who have experienced trauma themselves can properly understand, and assist others to understand why we think the way we do.

Thank you all for the wisdom I gain on this site.

@EverlastingHope - You won't find judgment from me. If your faith and spiritual beliefs bring you peace, healing, love, and hope, then I think that is truly a beautiful thing. You should never be afraid to speak your truth. If it is who you are, then don't worry about what other people think of you. Besides, its really none of their business anyway!

I believe they can be very helpful OR be very damaging. Its like any other profession, just because you have a 'title' or degree, doesnt mean you should be doing that job. I have learned through the years you HAVE TO interview them and see where THEIR minds and experience is at. I always walk in on the first day and let them know what I need/expect and tell them they have some many visits before I decide they are right for me. Unfortunatley, I just left a bad one (literally last week). She wasnt totally bad but she wasnt using her professional judgement (or she just lacked experience) instead she was using her emotions. You CANNOT bring emotions in your profession. Im now on a mission to find a new therapist that will put both my husband and myselfs best interests out. I dont want to go to someone whos going to pat my back and agree with everything I say. No one is perfect and I believe a good therapist will give you the good and the bad and teach you how to work on it. The damage right now is so bad, our marriage is on the line and its on the line at the WRONG time (my husband has terminal cancer). And the worst part, we have ZERO issues in our marrige! Its an outsider causing all the harm but because of this therapist, 'its ok'. So my advice is becareful. I have had some really great ones and some really crappy ones. Pay attention and if something doesnt sound or feel right keep on searching.

I admit that I have a problem with the present day philosophy of therapy which is that a therapist is supposed to guide a person to finding the answers to their problems without actually helping them find answers. Supposedly, according to the philosophy, all of the answers are supposed to be inside the patient/client, and the therapist's job is to help a person find them. I'm sorry, but this is a crock of bad stew that a dog wouldn't eat. If I had the answers to my problems inside me, they would have popped up in my mind decades ago and I'd have them now.

What I need and haven't found, are people who have the common sense and decency to instruct me on being a human being, something my parents didn't do, and something you can't learn on your own in this society. Teach me manners, teach me right from wrong, teach me how to speak properly, teach me what to wear and who to avoid in life, teach me how to throw and catch a ball, explain to me how dating and marriage work, what a family is, . . . teach me something, anything, any little bit of how to be human! Please, I'm begging.